Christmas Eve Surprise

Celebrating Christmas Eve is a tradition for my family. With so much of my family out of state we had my parents and sister over for our traditional dinner, reading of the Christmas story and the The Night Before Christmas, and a movie. We had a great time although it was sad that our numbers were so small. Early on Christmas Eve I told Gage that Tim and I had a surprise to tell him. He was excited and when the time came to tell him that I'm having another baby he started to cry and said, "I thought I got to open one of my presents!" I've been faithfully keeping my secret since the first part of October and it's been killing me. Gage has pressured me since the summer that he wanted another sibling. Even going so far as "helping"me name her. I say her because Gage wants a sister. He recently told me I should ask God for another baby. With all this I thought he would be so excited but I guess a new baby pales in comparison to opening a gift on Christmas Eve. I had made the boys shirts (Thanks to Mandy...your the best!) to wear for the party so my family could read them and hopefully figure out that I was with child. Luke's shirt said, "Big Brother in Training" and Gage's said, "Big Brother Trainer." My sister got it first and to be honest my dad was a bit slow on the uptake. Once everyone understood the shirts though my sister thought that the last time she saw me I looked bloated so she had been suspecting. I really thought everyone could tell because my stomach has already popped out but I guess not because Tim's family was just as surprised when we told them. Anyway, I'm about 15 weeks along. The doctor says the heart beat is fast so that could mean a girl!!!! I'm trying not to get my hopes up but I admit that anything pink or girly in the store draws my immediate attention. Tim is hoping for a boy...mostly because he fears the shopping that will ensue if it is a girl. I'm so happy to have this secret off my chest so I can stop sucking in my ever expanding waistline. Here's to letting it hang out!

Christmas Thoughts

Last year I vowed that I would try and enjoy the true meaning of Christmas. I made an action plan and so far I think it has been going really well. I got all...okay most...of my shopping done before the first week in December and that has helped immensely. I took a year off from neighbor gifts. For some reason these really stress me out and I just didn't do them this year. Thank you to all our sweet friends and neighbors who remembered us....your gifts were appreciated and loved. I feel bad they weren't reciprocated, I should have put a sign on my door that said, "Skip this slacker house!" I didn't even do Christmas Cards. I decided to make with my own two hands some of my Christmas gifts (more on that later) and they were fun to make and more fun to give than a store bought one. I've tried to sing, from my heart, Christmas songs in the car and at home and we've subjected our boys to every church video on Christmas. All of this has helped me enjoy the season so much more. I feel more relaxed and more at peace.

On Sunday the boys behaved themselves so well that I thought I was on the wrong bench and I was able to enjoy the Christmas program during Sacrament meeting. It made me want to share my joy at the birth of our Savior. If you haven't watched Mr. Kruger's Christmas this year you really need to because despite it being really cheesy and uncomfortable watching a grown man have full blown day dreams it really is quite a touching story. I always cry through the part when Mr. Kruger imagines he is in the manger with the baby Jesus and he says, "You're my best friend." It's so sincere and mirrors my own feelings about the Savior. I'll end my post with the lyrics from one of my favorite hymns--I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.

And in despair I bowed my head:

"There is no peace on earth," I said,

"For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth goodwill to men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,

With peace on earth, goodwill to men."

What Came Home From School Today

Gage has really been loving preschool this year. His teacher is wonderful this year. She is firm but so sweet to the kids and Gage has learned so many new things this year and is just excited to learn. The class is a lot smaller than last year and he has a few friends from his soccer team that he likes to play with. One thing that I like is that they do a lot of crafts and he has such pride in them. Today he came home with a mini Christmas tree that they have been making the decorations for all month. Seeing all the kids trot out with their trees was so cute and all the kids gathered together and yelled, "Thanks Miss Shan!" Luke told me all the way home, "Make make....Gage!" Good attempt at a full sentence Lukey.

Double Trouble

I used to imagine the day when the boys would play together and think how wonderful it would be to have them entertaining each other and how much fun they would have as best friends. Yeah, I'm a complete idiot. The boys do indeed play together and they do indeed entertain each other but peaceful bliss it is not! I don't know if it is because they are boys or what...actually I think it must be that because my friends with two girls close in age don't seem to have this problem...but when they play all it really is, is double the trouble. Anything naughty that one does the other finds totally hilarious which makes the first one do it more. Case in point today. I could hear laughing and scuffling in the kitchen and came in to find that they had found a way to detach the filter from the vacuum and all the contents were on my floor. Oh this was funny and according to Gage all Luke's fault and just so you know Gage was laughing at something else, and not the exhibition of dust and hair on the floor. If Gage even has a slight smile on his face while saying a prayer Luke will take this as the funniest thing he has ever heard and belly laugh which means that Gage belly laughs and the prayer really never gets said. I hope the Lord accepts prayers given in between fits of giggles. Luke stole a Christmas decoration and started running away with it, Gage being the first child ran after him exclaiming, "Luke your not supposed to touch that!" At which time Luke lobbed it behind his shoulder at Gage and it broke on the hard wood floor. Gage brought it to me in pieces hardly concealing a smile. Poor Santa is missing half his skull. I told my Mom today that I thought the kids were the Devil's seed and as Grandmas are wont to do I was soundly reprimanded. Truth be told I'm laughing really hard inside but if I don't keep it together their bright ideas will just get worse. I guess I'll just be glad that they like to play together even if it means my house and nerves may not survive.

Deal or No Deal

The drug dealers are back. This must be their winter spot. I may need to put up my counter again. Mr. BMW had a twofer yesterday right in front of our house while we were waiting to pull into our driveway. It was like a frickin drive-thru. How convenient for him to have two appointments at once. Who said that drug dealers couldn't be efficient? Maybe the Big 3 could take notes from Mr. BMW and then Mr. BMW might become Mr. Ford/Chrysler/GM. Problem solved.

Thank the Soilders

My friend Jackie sent me this link, http://www.letssaythanks.com/Home1280.html to Let's Say Thanks. Let's Say Thanks is a free service provided by Xerox, for you, to send a postcard to a member of the military. There are several postcards to choose from and you can choose from a list of messages or make one of your own. I can't tell you how proud I am of the men and women who choose to serve our country and my heart breaks thinking of them being away from their families during the holidays. If you've got the time or desire I think it is a worthy cause to let them know they are appreciated.

Gage Hearts Megan

Last week when I picked up Gage from school his little friend Megan came running over to him and said, "Gage I want you to see my sister!" Gage is a guy and totally insensitive so he says, "I've already seen her." I told him he was being rude so he looked in the van and saw her sister. Megan's mom and I started talking and she said that Megan prays for Gage every night and says, "Thank you for Gagey" How freakin cute is that? When we got home I started asking what I hoped were nonchalant questions about Megan. When I asked if he liked Megan he said, "Sure I do." He went on to tell me that Megan needs his help a lot in the bathroom. I was a little afraid to ask with what, but he said he turns on the light and runs the water for her because she can't reach it. I asked him how he knew she needed his help and he said that Megan will yell, "Gagey I need you!" I think it is the most adorable thing I have ever heard. No wonder the savior said we have to become like little children. They are so trusting, loving, and willing to serve each other.

This is the only picture I have of Megan. She and Gage were exploring the pumpkin patch together and I think they are holding hands. Very cute.

Twilight Weirdos

I know on Saturday everyone was excited about the Utah/BYU game. Um, yeah I don't watch football so I just found out who won today. Go Utes!! I hate the Y and it has nothing to do with football but any time they lose that makes me happy. Saturday was exciting for me because I went and saw Twilight. My expectations were so incredibly low for this movie. Let's just say the movie delivered on my expectations. Tim's sister's book group (got that) rented out a theater and I won a Twilight hat that I have not the slightest intention of ever wearing. Mostly because I do not want to be associated with the Twilight franchise anymore and the weird women that like these books. Two women forced, I mean, brought their husbands to the movie. Please people...it's a theater full of women and girls these men's "buddies" were cryin' for air the second they stepped in the theater. The women who organized the event, her husband won something in the raffle so he comes running down and she says, "Ladies he is so wonderful he has no Edward angst." That's great because Edward is not a real person...he is a character in a book...wake up!! After the movie was over the stampede to the bathroom began and I elbowed some lady out of the way and got their just ahead of the line...phew. These two ladies next to me, which on a side note, don't talk to me while I'm in the stall, just do your business and we'll talk later. Where was I? Oh yeah, so these two women (in their mid to late 30's) say to each other, "I am so mad. I was, like, soooo over Edward and then I saw that movie." If it weren't for my no talking policy while partaking of the facilities I would have yelled, "What in the world is wrong with you?! Edward is a a pretend person created for teenage girls!" I liked the books as much as the next person. I was twitter-patted with Edward and Jacob while I was reading them but really now, it is time to move forward with our adult lives. The dude who plays Edward in the movie, while in real life he looks like a strung out heroine addict, was truly easy on the eyes and the only thing that got me past the cheesy lines and googly looks he was giving Bella. Who by the way apparently cannot smile and has a locked jaw. The worst line from the movie was when Carlise said to Edward, "Remember who you are son" You may ask when did Carlise tell Edward this...um when Edward was killing a sadistic vampire....really important that you remember who you are! Please. I really didn't hate the movie as much as this post sounds like I did. I just feel like I'm going to remember who I am and remember that I'm a married grown-up person.

Green Week Hypocrites

If you have a TV, that you watch, you have noticed that this week is Green Week. Yippee! It is a week devoted to helping us idiots at home learn how to take care of the earth by shameless celebrity endorsements. The hypocrisy of their claims really get under my skin. I think it is the condescending and self satisfied air to their presentation. Only in Hollywood can someone who didn't even finish High School act and be believed like some kind of rocket scientist. One example that made my head want to explode was during one of my favorite shows this week, The Biggest Loser. I love love love this show. I really think Vicky should have gone home this week....Amy C...you should've had the guts girl because ol' Vicky will cut you loose and not even think twice about it. During The Biggest Loser they have "Green Tips" delivered by none other than the trainers from the show. So this week Jillian's tip was to forgo paper plates this year at Thanksgiving and not to be fooled by their nice colors and convenience. No siree. Buy reusable plates that you can wash and you will, "feel better about what you are eating and what you are eating it on!" Doesn't that make such a cozy slogan?

After the commercial break I'll be danged if they didn't come back to a shot of Jillian "teaching" her team how to preserve fruits and veggies in a Ziploc (The Biggest Loser Sponsor with box fully turned toward the camera so we can get that they are Ziploc Brand) freezer size and separate each stinkin' kind of fruit into a separate bag because, "It is expensive to eat healthy so you need to preserve your investment!" But what about the Earth Jillian!!! What about reusing your bag. Or doubling fruit up in each bag to get as much use out of it as possible. What about a reusable Tupperware so I can feel good about raping the earth for it's fruit and veggies? What's that? Your sponsor won't like that very much....because they want to sell as many plastic bags as possible. Oh, I get it now. Forgo the PAPER plates that will biodegrade and opt instead for a PLASTIC bag made from foreign oil, produced by terrorist states, that will sit in a landfill for all of eternity. As long as we are all clear on that and Ziploc is happy we can pat ourselves on the back for being so "Green Conscious." Barf.

Won't You Take Me To.....Funky Town

My friend Andrea informed me today that I'm in a funk. She says it's been going on since the Election. That could possibly be true...there is certainly enough to be in a funk about the Elections if you ask me. No one did ask me by the way. So I've been thinking since she said I was in a funk, what could put me in a funk? My first thoughts are that the election coincided with day light savings so maybe the Election is being framed for my SAD. (that's Seasonal Affective Disorder...it means you get sad when the sun starts disappearing at earlier times) The sun is shining today so no complaints there. My grandma has SAD so maybe it runs in the family? I'm definitely in a funk about how I can dust and about 3 nano-seconds later my electronics and surfaces have another layer on dust on them. It gets really bad in the winter because our furnace is in our crawl space, which just happens to be dirt...not cement like normal houses, so it really circulates the dust. I know you're thinking dust? But really, ask yourself if you dusted several times a week and it always looked like you needed to dust would it put you in a funk? The house is in a desperate state of needing a serious deep clean. My house is always clean...but the jam fingerprints on the door casings, the dirty base boards, the grim on the washing machine that I always tell myself I'm going to scrub, the messy fridge, and so forth is really bugging me lately. But between the mounds of laundry, fixing dinner, playing the matching game, breaking up fights, putting toys away, and wiping noses and wiping bums it just falls through the cracks.(literally) Do you think I could trust a cleaning service to just come and make those things disappear? How much do you think that costs? That's what I want for Christmas. No really Tim. We always scoff at that billboard that says "Life is too short to clean your own house." I'm beginning to think that they hit the nail squarely on the head.

Quotables

Gage and I were watching the election coverage on the Today Show and Matt Lauer was looking at a map and said that McCain had to sweep Ohio to have a chance. Gage looked over at me very concerned and said,

"What will they do with Isaac when they sweep him up?"

Gage's cousin Isaac lives in Ohio and I can't imagine what his mental picture was that had him looking so concerned.

All Hallows Eve

Halloween was great this year. We went to Tim's work on the Thursday and this was Luke's first exposure to trick-or-treating. (he went last year but was totally clueless) Once he got over the frustration of not being able to eat each piece and figured out that you put it in the bag he walked around excitedly exclaiming "Candy!" with his arms in the air as if he couldn't believe they were just giving it to him. Gage took care to take just one piece of candy at each office and his first piece was a box of Dots that he wanted to give my dad since they are his favorite. Luke took hand fulls of candy at each office and laughed each time. Thursday night we had a party with my parents and sister and the boys had a great time. Halloween day Gage had a party at school and that night we went to Tim's sister's house for dinner and then the men took the kids trick-or-treating. I stayed home with the ladies and the night was so warm and nice that we sat on her front porch to see all the costumes. Tim informs me that Luke tried to have a conversation at every door and was perplexed why they didn't go inside. Luke strutted home looking very much like a big boy and Gage raced to tell me he had seen Maleficent. (he wanted me to be her for Halloween) After Trick-or-Treating we went over to Tim's brother's house (it honestly felt like a progressive dinner) for scones. The boys were very tired and slept well and the huge bag of candy can hardly fit in the pantry.

This was taken at my family party. What a bunch of nerds! Really I could have just worn my regular glasses and looked the same.

Luke was the red Spiderman and Gage was Venom. Luke refused to wear the mask.

Luke, Gage, Zack, Maddie, Emily, Andrew, and Tanner. All cousins on Tim's side before the main event.

My Chicken Bag

I completed my first sewing project since junior high this week. It was a little difficult to begin with but I now can sew corners and french seams. I'm glad this picture isn't too detailed because you won't be able to see my ski wampy lines but I improved as the project went on and I'm proud of myself for doing it. My sewing machine is being fixed at this very moment so I plan to continue with more projects. Maybe a quilt next.

Sewing Lessons

My mother-in-law started giving me sewing lessons when I bought my sewing machine. I've really been enjoying them and I've been making a tote that I can take to the library. The fabric I chose is kind of vintage looking and has roosters on it. My niece has coined it the "chicken bag." So today I was working on my chicken bag (on carol's machine since mine is broken...see below post) and Carol was telling me all these stories about her childhood and the early years of her marriage. Carol, in the past, has not been really up front with these kinds of details and I was amazed at how easy our conversation was flowing. I feel like one of the consequences of the "home arts" disappearing in our modern society is that we are losing the close relationships that were fostered among women and the passing on of personal histories. I have this picture in my mind about the good old days of quilting circles and the friends in the circle that you've known forever and would do anything for and I want that. I may have to settle for re-reading my favorite book about a quilting circle during The Great Depression.

I Was Put In Time-Out

My camera is sick and hopefully will be working by Halloween. Since I haven't had any good pictures to post for awhile I thought I would explain...the kids look mostly the same. Gage has had this great revelation in his life that he can be disobedient....yippee for me. He has been so danged obedient most of his life until recently. The apex of his naughtiness was earlier in this week when he broke the presser foot on my sewing machine after I had asked him to leave it alone about 100 times. I was so angry that words cannot describe and thankfully I was on the phone with Andrea and she suggested that I go outside before there was bloodshed. My blood boiled further when he said I was just going to have to buy another one. Then I started to cry (angry bitter tears) and said that I couldn't replace it and that I had wanted one for a long time. Of course, sweet Gage started to cry and I thought it was because I had to cancel a play date with Mason to punish him. I went in his room when I had cooled down to talk, really I mean lecture, and he was crying and I asked why. He said sobbing, "I'm not crying because I can't play with Mason I'm crying because I broke it!!! And you've wanted one for a long time." I forgave him after that.

Every day after school I try and pry details about what Gage did at school and of course I come up with nothing until one day I asked him if anyone got into trouble. He has two kids in his class that act up quite a bit so I was getting all the juicy details about school just by asking if anyone got put into time-out. A few weeks ago Gage had told me that he was a good boy and that, "he noticed he never got put into time out." I was happy to hear that. Well today I asked the routine question expecting to hear the usual, but Gage had this evil glint in his eye and said, "Actually I got put in time-out today." He sounded so pleased with himself I had no idea what to say. Apparently he had argued with another boy (the boy who is usually in time-out) over something and they both got sent to time out. The look on his face was so funny and foreign to me. He's never been so devilish. This is uncharted territory. Help.

Awww Tender

The kids have been driving me crazy lately. Luke is uncontainable. Whilst I'm cleaning up one disaster he's creating another one. I used to flatter myself that I was this great mom because Gage never threw tantrums, never screamed to get what he wanted, never got into things he wasn't supposed to. That shows how truly dull I really am because it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with his personality. Which, by the way, his preschool teacher tells me he is independent and conscientious but prone to worry...wonder where he got that from hmm? Gage is constantly haggling his brother and refuses to share and I could swear the child is deaf as he will do nothing I ask him to do!!!

Yesterday, in the midst of practically losing my mind I took the kids into the backyard and told them to play and being the cold hard woman that I am I locked the gate behind me in spite of Luke's hysterical crying. I'm also a wimp so the second I got inside I went to the window so I could see how they were doing. The scene was wonderful, Gage was hugging Luke and telling him that it was going to be okay and then he proceeded to tell him that it was cold out and zipped up his coat for him. Luke, who never lets his brother touch him without screaming in protest, stopped crying instantly and was hugging him back. It really made my whole day. If you've never been there I'm sure it is weird to think that one small instant in your kid's life can make up for the spray glue that Luke sprayed in Gage's room, or the broken picture frame, or the 100 time I'd asked Gage to do his car seat straps but somehow it does and it feels like a miracle every time.

Free Range Kids?

I saw this lady on Dr. Phil (okay there was nothing else on) who let her 10 year old son take the subway, by himself, from some shopping trip and she had written about it online and of course the helicopter moms went berserk on her calling her a horrible mother. I tended to agree until I watched her and listened to what she was saying. She thinks that as parents we are too involved and constantly hovering over our children. We see predators behind every corner. We fight all our kids battles for them. We don't allow our children any freedom and thereby rob them of independence. She says the best way to protect our children is to teach them to protect themselves. By the time she was done I was really seeing it her way. Obviously, you have to take into account a child's age and maturity but when I was a kid I went to the store by myself, however far I could go on my bike was my playground, I walked to school, not a short distance, with my brother (I remember Nate that you taught me the days of the week and North, South, East, and West.) I was only almost kidnapped once...and my parents didn't freak out and drive me everywhere. I clearly remember the scream lesson they gave me that night and the lesson I learned on being thankful my dad listened to the spirit and that I can't trust every adult simply because they are one. I agree with her that we are raising a generation of kids that can't think for themselves because we never let them fail (hello trophies for every kid...gotta love the participation trophy...I remember when a trophy meant something) It really made me examine my parenting. If you're interested in her there is a link on my blog roll to her blog called free range kids. Don't expect to see Gage and Luke going on walks by themselves around the neighborhood but in small ways I'm trying to teach Gage to take care of himself that didn't occur to me before. Instead of insisting on his hand in the parking lot and expounding on how children can get hit if they are in the road I've stopped holding his hand and teaching him to watch for cars himself. What good is teaching him to look both ways before he crosses the street if he never gets to cross by himself? Of course I'm in range to grab him if it isn't safe but he doesn't realize that. This is way is so much harder for me than doing it all myself but that's how I know it's right.

Kids are Weird...Especially Mine

We made our yearly visit to the Primary Children's Emergency room yesterday. Last year it was because Gage had swallowed Superman's Krytonite and the year before that for the Rotavirius.

Friday night Gage was at an indoor amusement park, for little kids, and went on a ride that was like the tea cups at Disneyland. The only difference was that while the ride was going in a circle the operator spun the cups and when Gage got on he asked if he wanted to go fast. Well, the kid is 4 and he said yes but neither he nor I thought that meant the mock 10 speed this guy was spinning them at. About half way through the ride I saw that Gage's head was thrown back and that he was crying. I thought he was getting nauseous so I wasn't too worried. Despite kids crying the operator just kept spinning them...not the best and brightest working there I can tell you that. When Gage got off the ride he said he thought his head was going to break off. I felt bad that I didn't realize that his head was back because he could not lift it up not because he was having fun. Gage was a little subdued after the ride and he wasn't interested in dinner or cake and the second we got in the car he started crying and saying that his head really hurt. When we got home I gave him so Motrin and put him to bed all the while him grabbing his head and saying it hurt inside his body. He got up during the night saying it hurt and by the morning he looked horrible. He wouldn't eat anything and was still complaining of his head hurting, his eyes were bloodshot, his cheeks flushed and he felt warm to me. I was starting to get worried that his brain was scrambled and I had visions of his brain swelling inside his skull. Um, I have an active imagination. Although I reasoned that he was perfectly fine before the ride and I traced all his symptoms back to the ride. So I called the doctor and he thought he probably needed a CT Scan so we should go up to Primary.

We saw a resident first and she said that Gage had whip lash and some muscle strain in his abdomen but that her attending would be in to look at him. The attending came and while she was examining him she pressed under his jaw and Gage freaked out in pain. Holding his breath and crying...I felt so bad and then he was saying, "Mom I don't like them doing that!" So the attending says that Gage has strep?! They did the rapid strep test and it came back negative but she felt positive because he had a headache, stomach ache, sore neck that she sent us home with antibiotics. So the whole thing was a fluke. She said that he strained his muscles where it hurts with strep anyway and that the ride made him more aware that he didn't' feel well. The whole thing is so weird. He seems to be feeling a little bit better today but I don't know if that is because of the Motrin or the antibiotics and I'm supposed to call tomorrow to see if his culture grew strep. If it comes back negative then I'll really be flummoxed. What will it be next year? Your guess is as good as mine.

Being Postive

Last week I watched some of the General Relief Society Conference. I know my out of state family and friends will think I'm a loser that I can't even watch the whole thing when it is broadcast into my home. But, what I did hear I really enjoyed and I really liked President Uchtdorf's talk on happiness. He pointed out that women are hard on themselves and tend to focus on the negative...when it comes to themselves. I thought I'd find something positive to share for us lovely ladies who sometimes feel bad about ourselves. Okay, I mean me. I may do this more often to balance out my negative posts.

God planted within women something divine
that expresses itself in quiet strength, in refinement,
in peace, in goodness, in virtue, in truth, in love.

President Gordon B. Hinckley


We are in the habit of erecting monuments to men. I want to tell you as I stand here tonight
the most enduring monuments in this world have been erected in the home by women.
I feel to say tonight that I love my father - no man could love his father more - but when I think of the influence of my mother when I was a little tad I am moved to reverence and tears.

George Albert Smith

Political Activisim

I did something last week I've never done before. I wrote my congressman. Amazingly he wrote back. With the Wall Street Bailout set to pass, against the will of the people, I felt compelled for the first time to make my voice heard. It is something that I think I will continue to do as I think grass roots politics is the best and most important place to start. My brother, who inspired my letter, asked to see the response so I thought I'd share it on my blog.

My letter,

Congressman Matheson,

I think as a nation we are facing a crossroads of monumental proportions. It is amazing to me that the Senate, against the will of their constituents, passed a revision of the bill you voted against. I think it is time that our representatives in Washington recognized their obligation to the voters who put them there. I urge you to have the courage to vote against this new Bailout Bill. Now is not the time to rush to legislation that may do more harm than good. This type of bill, with such a high price tag, should not be entered in to under an umbrella of fear. Please proceed with caution as you consider your vote and recognize that your first allegiance belongs to your voters and not to a political party. I voted for you because I have confidence in your judgment and I hope that confidence was well placed.

Sincerly,
Mrs. Pudge

I received his reply the next day, sadly the bill did pass but he did not vote for it. Obviously this is a form letter but I was impressed that he even bothered. That's how little I expect from our elected leaders.

October 3, 2008
Dear Mrs. Pudge,

Thank you for sharing your concerns regarding the current financial crisis. I appreciate your interest in this important issue.

Over the past two years, we've witnessed the effects of a growing financial crisis. While the Administration has bailed out some companies, others have failed, throwing the market into greater uncertainty. At this point, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and AIG are all essentially owned by the federal government. In a perfect world, the government will realize a positive fiscal contribution from the recent interventions. However, the government may also suffer significant losses, as has occurred in the past.

The credit markets are frozen. Although this sounds like an issue that only matters to large businesses, the availability of credit affects all of us. We all want to send our children to college, buy a home for our families, and look for opportunities to expand our businesses. Without access to credit and financial institutions, it's just not possible for most of us to be able to afford these things on our own. We all rely upon access to the credit markets and the system has stopped working.

Just a few weeks ago, historic bank failures and worries about the stock market showed further deterioration in the financial sector. The Administration responded by asking Congress for $700 billion in order to allow the Treasury Department to selectively bail out some private companies. This idea came in the form of a 3-page bill, which was simply not enough to address the problem.

The bailout envisioned by the Administration violated the principles of good government. Congress did insist on some important taxpayer protections in comparison to the original bill written by the Administration, which sought to spend $700 billion overnight without any oversight. While I respect the efforts of many leaders of both parties to find the right solution, I was unconvinced that this plan will solve the larger crisis and I voted against it.

The current crisis represents a difficult time in U.S. history. I take the situation very seriously and I have concerns about the state of our economy. I am also very concerned about the effect of this crisis on Utahns and the possible long-term effects on all Americans. We cannot just write another blank check that will have to eventually be backed up by money the government will have to borrow.

The U.S. Senate eventually passed a version of the bill that contains extraneous provisions that are both expensive and poorly thought out. At a cost of $850 billion, most of the new provisions were added to sweeten the pot. One provision also changes financial accounting rules which were put in place after the 1980's savings and loan crisis, the last major national financial crisis.

I opposed the bailout bill because it simply does not address the underlying causes of the financial crisis. The bill will soon be signed into law by the President. I still hope that this bill will do some good, even though I fear that it is not enough to solve the problem. With that in mind, I believe that Congress must return early next year and it must address true reform of a financial system that allowed private companies to make such bad business decisions, at the expense of their shareholders and ultimately, of taxpayers.

Again, thank you for sharing your concerns with me. If you have any additional questions, please feel free to contact my office.

Sincerely,

JIM MATHESON
Member of Congress

All I Can Say Is, "Wow"

I hardly know where to begin this post. This week has been one of the more stressful weeks that I can remember. It may even top my finals week in college while I was working 40 + hours at GE and trying to ace 4 finals. The first wow moment came, in the car, when Gage asked how Dad's help make the baby. Tim is very shy when it comes to talking about sexuality and he was driving, so my first responsibility was to make sure that he didn't wreck the car or wreck the moment with his nervous giggling. I was prepared for this moment and I told it like it is. Gage said, "oh" and changed the subject. So what we know so far is that Dad's have a special thing called sperm and Mom's have an egg and when they meet they make a baby. Thank heaven he didn't ask how the two meet up cause maybe I would have started the nervous giggling. Please Tim cut it out.

The second wow moment was this whole deal with the economy. I've felt rather doomsdayish about the state of affairs for awhile and I feel like my worst fears are coming to fruition. I think people in general don't grasp the interconnectedness of our economy and how a few banks failing will affect us all. I feel like the bailout is like putting a tiny weeny band-aid on a huge hemorrhage at the cost of free markets. Scares the crap outta me and we all know I'm prone to worry. I think it scares me so much because I see inevitable hard times ahead and I want to make sure that I'm prepared....mentally and physically. Much of the week has been spent on the phone with my brother, also prone to worry, asking him what to do with our stocks and 401K. I just feel jittery. We knew we weren't going to use that money until retirement but it is still a great deal of money to see go down the tubes. I've been channelling my worry into food storage and budgets (a nerd's mothership) and I feel we've made good strides in both. I urge you to do the same. Okay...I'll get off my soap box now.

Today we took the kids to the Children's Museum. We have never been there and it is really an awesome place. It was so fun watching the kids learning and having fun and it was fun for me to watch Tim discover what it's like in mommy world. He stuck out like a sore thumb...especially amongst the nursing moms letting it all hang out. A place like the Children's Museum really highlights the difference between Gage and Luke and it is like a social experiment for me to watch. There was a huge school class there so there were a lot of elementary aged kids there. While Gage was timid and even intimidated Luke was aggressive and free spirited. Gage thinks about everything before he does anything and Luke experiences life as it comes. Gage was more prone to wait for a turn while Luke had no qualms about exerting himself against older kids for a turn. It just fascinates me that they are brothers and yet so different. Gage walked so late and didn't attempt it until he could do it perfectly...he hardly ever fell. While Luke on the other hand walked on time but always tried to go farther than he could skill wise and fell constantly and was so determined he just got up and tried again. They are such unique and special spirits and it makes me contemplate the eternal nature of our spirits and makes me wonder how they will tackle the challenges of this life and how I hope they succeed. Well I think a covered a range of topics today...my work is done.

Growing Up

This week Luke exchanged his string of gibberish for actual words that I can understand. Instead of #@!&*% , he says, "Daddy is here" The language transformation never ceases to amaze me. I think he learns a new word each day. Most alarming though are two words that can and will drive parents everywhere nuts. The first is "Watch!" My nephew Braden was in a watch phase when I stayed with his family for about a month before I was married. Everything he did needed to be watched by his Aunt Kia and I heard "Watch me!" roughly 5000 times before I went home. It was fun to be in such demand but I went home after a month. The second word is "Why?" I think he is too young to use this annoying word but nevertheless if he asks for the keys, his obsession that he will rummage through any purse to retrieve, and the answer is no he will instantly ask, "Why?" He uses the most forlorn voice that is really cute but I know that Why this and Why that has driven some parents crazy. Gage never went through the why phase so this is new territory. Luke has also started informing us when he has gone poop and we all know this is the first stage to potty training and I'm too excited at the thought of Luke potty training early and being done with the diaper thing. Keeping the fingers crossed.

Gage got chores over the summer. Easy ones like making the bed, cleaning his room, and taking out the bathroom trash. Before having to do it himself his room would be mounds and mounds of toys and clothes by the end of the day. But since I've started making him clean his room on his own he has made more of an effort to put toys away and keep his floor clean. I'm really stingy too because I insist that toys be put in their proper place and Gage is getting really good at this. This morning when we woke up Gage came and told me to look at his room and said I was going to be proud. His room was spotless and he informed me he had cleaned while Luke, Dad, and I were sleeping. Proud indeed.

A Post That Wouldn't Be if Rachel Had Answered Her Cell Phone

I know that blogs are usually dedicated to the positive aspects of motherhood, or in some cases, the perfection of your motherhood that you want others to believe. This will not be one of those posts. In fact, the following post, in perfect mommy blogs, will be akin to when someone bears their testimony about the vision they had last night and you can feel people's discomfiture. I have the mommy blues and today I feel like a horrible mother and that maybe I made a mistake having children. Today was bad from the beginning and when I left the house in a hurry to cry alone in the car I really wish my sister would have answered her cell phone but I think she was at church so that's good. Let me get this out of the way, so I don't further solidify that I'm a horrible person, that I think motherhood is great. Specifically being a mom to Gage and Luke is great but today I felt the full weight of motherhood being a thankless job. I felt myself screaming inside, "why do I do all these things for my children if they aren't even appreciating it...if they prefer their father over me!" That is probably the crux of my complaints to today. The straw that broke the camel's back, and sent me into my cry car, was Gage hurt himself this morning and he will not let me even touch him but he is crying for his father. Gage started preferring Tim over me when I was pregnant with Luke and he goes on and off through stages where he treats me like dirt and I really feel like dirt. Tim is sweet of course and tries to tell Gage that he has hurt my feelings but somehow that makes it worse. I guess it hurts my pride. Luke is probably 50/50 on who he prefers but I can see that like his brother he is starting to be drawn to his father. I guess that is just how it is....little boys are drawn to their fathers. I can understand that. But it makes me feel like I have no place. Oh, yes I do. I make the meals, do the laundry, (which I've had a lot of because Gage suddenly started peeing the bed which is driving me nuts) clean the house, and drive people where they need to be. I feel like I'm a pretty cool mom, I mean I hide in clothes racks to hide from pretend storm troopers, but it seems like it doesn't matter. I feel like I did as a little girl wanting to be with my brothers and only being a part of things because they suffered me to be so not because I was part of the group. I'm living in the good old boys club and for today it makes me feel miserable, dispensable, expendable and any other sad word ending in "able."

A 3 - Week Tour

Tim's project at work ended officially last week and Tim got his comp time. Comp time is when the studio gives paid time off to make up for the abuse and overtime they have put the artists and programmers through to get the project completed and it is very common in the video game industry. I thought, "Yea! A whole week off will be great." Only to find out that they were getting 3 weeks off. Everyone thinks that we should go on vacation and for one day we dreamed of throwing caution to the wind and going to Disneyland but our practical natures won out. With no notice of when the comp time would be it made it hard to plan any sort of vacation because we had some commitments that we didn't feel like we could get out of. So we are currently enjoying a 3 week vacation at home.

The kids have loved having Tim at home and despite my claim that Tim is driving me nuts I'm really enjoying the time with him. It's been nice to see Tim discover what goes on around here while he sits at work surrounded by Star Wars figures. Oops. I'm not supposed to tell you he has Star Wars figures at work. That's considered normal where he works. By Wednesday Tim was complaining that his back hurt and said, "I never realized that taking care of these boys was so hard on your back." See Tim had been thinking that my failure to lift them with my knees was causing my back pain and if only I would heed his dozens of lectures on the merits of lifting with my knees that my back wouldn't hurt. He discovered that I do lift with my knees but all the millions of other tasks that you do for your 3 foot nothing kids takes it toll as well. Smell that? That is the smell of vengeance.

We haven't been doing anything big but I've decided it does matter as long as you are together. The park is so much more fun if Dad and Mom are racing you down the hill and going to ward things as part of a couple is fun for me and was not seen all summer. Wednesday we checked out the Dinosaur Museum and the timing was perfect because Gage's "best friend" likes dinosaurs and has been introducing him to things besides the regular weapon obsession of late. Thursday we went to Wheeler Farm. I haven't been there since I was 6 or 7. The kids had such a good time. Luke loves to "moo" like a cow and this really ornery bull mooed at us and it made Luke's day. I don't know if I'm just this dumb or if I was overcome by some inner Snow White complex but when we were feeding the ducks I had this grand idea to see if one of the geese would eat out of my hand. I'm sure you can see where this story is going. Yep. It bit me. Yep. I screamed. Yep. People stared. Yep. I made a fool of myself....again. My only excuse was that I think if I had tried to feed any other goose that it would have been fine but I chose the really mean goose that kept biting the other geese in the butt. Oh, that also made me yelp because I thought my butt was next. Friday we had lunch at Hires which I don't recommend with a child that needs a high chair. That place is so cramped. It felt all the smaller when I realized that the guy at the next table, looking at me, was an old crush from college and no matter how many times I tried to hide behind Tim he would move and expose me again. Not to mention I decided to get an Avocado H instead of just the Big H and it was sicky. Whew...just two more weeks to go.

I would be remiss if I did not mention the spectacular goal Gage made today at his soccer game that he made through another kid's legs. When everyone was cheering you should have seen the look on Gage's face. It was priceless.

Rachel's Visit

My sweet nieces and my sister were here last week from Oregon. I was super crappy about remembering my camera and so this is the only evidence I have of their visit. Gage and Luke were in 7th heaven having two older girls to play with. They had more light saber duels than Gage could ever ask for. My personal favorite was when they tried to make grape juice in our backyard but couldn't figure out how to mash the grapes. I believe this was Bee's brain-child. We miss you already.

To Save or Not to Save

As mentioned below Gage started school yesterday and it has left me in a quandary of sorts. For his first year of preschool I saved every paper, every art project, every letter to me, and every note from his teacher in a folder. The folder is chuck full. With a new school year I don't have space for one more piece of construction paper in the folder. Do I save this stuff or get rid of it? He's a boy...which means he'll be a man and they don't care about this stuff right? Will I care about it in 20 years? I'll need a storage facility the size of Fort Knox to house all the paper with glued on beans and pasta if I save for Gage and Luke. I don't even have a proper place for my vacuum. Like I said a quandary.

Back to School

Gage started his second year of preschool yesterday. What a difference a year makes. Last year I was so nervous for him to go and this year I couldn't wait for it to start. I know I'll still miss him but it was time for a change and he loves to learn and I love to have him engaged so he isn't so bored at home. The night before, Tim gave him a father's blessing which I think is a great tradition and I loved when my dad gave me one before school growing up. I was impressed with how serious Gage takes the priesthood and I'm glad that he has such a good example in his father. Luke thought he shouldn't be left out so he scooted up to the chair when Gage was done and folded his arms. He didn't sit quite as long as Gage and we were all kind of giggling as Tim rushed to say "amen" before Luke fell off the chair.

I know this is pathetic but the hardest part for me was to get up and showered before we had to leave at 9:15 am. The hardest part for Gage was waiting for 9:15 am. At 7:00 am Gage woke us up saying, "I'm so exciged (gage's accent) for school today!" He wouldn't touch his breakfast and was dressed and sitting on the couch at 8:00 am. He hates taking pictures so I was lucky to get a few taken before we left. When we got to school Gage didn't seem nervous at all and just marched inside to a teacher he has never met and knowing only one other student. I was shouting at the door to get him to even notice that I was leaving. There are only two girls in his class and the rest are boys so he was beside himself with joy over which boy to play with. When I picked him up he was talking up a storm to one boy who looked rather confused at the rapid fire questions Gage was asking. They had made a float for the teddy bear they brought to class and he was very proud of it. Three of the boys from his class are also on his soccer team this year and they had their first practice last night. Gage's uncle, Rich, is the coach and Tim was his assistant. I could not believe how much Gage's soccer skills improved in just one practice. All through his games in the summer he was just running willy nilly. Clueless you might say. But at practice he stopped the ball and turned it around to go to the right goal. Tim was a proud papa. One bad thing was that Gage saw Tim head butting the ball and thought that he should head butt us the rest of the night. I love the change of fall. I can feel it in the air and I love new clothes, school supplies, and a new schedule and that Halloween is just around the corner.

Just Call Me a Cat

While growing up I scorned a lot of things. Not the least of which was country music and anything domestic. I learned to sew in Junior High only because they make you take the class. I use the term "learn to sew" very lightly because as an accomplished whiner I have the ability to make people feel sorry for me and do things for me that I should do for myself. So, believe it or not I got through my sewing class with my teacher doing all my pinning and practically sewing the jacket I took away from the class. That was the last time I touched a sewing machine. I didn't like to cook. I didn't know how to grow anything except mold which grew in abundance in our refrigerator in our student housing apartment. Canning was something your grandmother did and I am no grandma. There was no reason to make my own bread because that was what Albertson's was for. Lastly, scrapbooking....that was something I whined my way to get my sister to do and when she moved I got my husband to help. Sure I helped and told them what to do and mocked them severely when something doesn't turn out but I don't do it myself. Then something happened and to be honest I'm still trying to figure out how I became a domesticated house cat.

The first to go was my scorn for country music. My dad is a cowboy and I was raised on the likes of Johnny Cash, Willie Nielsen, Kenny Rogers, and any other musician with a lost horse, unfaithful woman, and a warble. In college I started liking country music because cute boys can country dance and before I knew it I was singing Willie Nielsen in my car with Gage and Luke in the backseat thinking what the crap just happened?

Next, I wanted to grow a garden. Both my grandma's survived the depression and can make anything grow. They both had glorious gardens while I was growing up but I never thought I would grow one. Again, Albertson's has all the produce I would need right? Wrong again. I grew my first garden this year and I'm bursting with pride for it. I removed all the grass by myself and with Tim's help tilling it I have these huge plants! I guess gardening gets passed in the genes as well. Which means I have a ton of zucchini, tomatoes, and pumpkins. All this produce leads to canning and I'm actually excited to do it and I don't have too many gray hairs to speak of and there are no Depends anywhere in this house. I grated zucchini to freeze this morning and thought how wonderful it will be to make zucchini bread in the dead of winter with zucchini grown from my very own garden. Seriously, what happened to me?

This gives you the prespective for how big our plants are.

Beautiful fruit

Lastly, I've had this yearning lately to learn to sew...for real this time. I tried to get my brother to sell me his wife's sewing machine, because she doesn't like to sew, but he discovered that he likes to sew and became my third sister so that was a no go. My mom said I could have her old sewing machine but could never find it. So for the last year or so I've had all the desire but no machine to learn on and too cheap to buy a new one. Then by a stroke of genius I decided to check out the DI and I found one for $25. Some of the parts were in their original packaging and even though it was an older model it looked good so I decided to take the risk. When I got it home the wheel wasn't driving the needle but thanks to Tim's tinkering and a really weird guy at The Sewing Company, Tim was able to replace the wheel for $14 and I now have a working sewing machine! Side note on my thriftiness. I found the same sewing machine on Craig's list for $379 so on top of all my other newly acquired domestic abilities I am thrifty too. The trick will be me disciplining myself so I don't get my mother-in-law do it all the pinning for me. The only thing that is NOT going to change is scrapbooking. I hate it and I vow to never do it. Especially since I can't cut straight. Other than that...I guess you don't have to wear dentures to like this domestic stuff. Who knew?

The Clone Wars

I've been trying to get Tim to start his own blog. He claims that he has nothing interesting to say. That didn't stop me and frankly millions of other people from starting one and anyway he has the weirdest experiences using public transit that I think would be funny to read about. He even has captured a few pictures for me with his cell phone. But since he doesn't have a blog it is incumbent upon me to report the best thing that has happened to Gage all summer! In case you missed it George Lucas has made yet another Star Wars movie called The Clone Wars. It is animated and covers the events between episodes 2 and 3. I know you were all wondering about this piece of Star Wars history. When we went and saw Kung Foo Panda they had this huge poster for The Clone Wars and Gage was totally mesmerized by it. We promised him then that he could see it opening night and he has been faithfully counting down on the calendar.

He and Tim went and saw it last night. At random times yesterday Gage would say how "exciged" he was to see it and I asked him if he was going to dress up. Of course he was! When it was about time to go I asked Gage if he needed help with his costume and Tim was all embarrassed and was whispering to me, "he's going to dress up?" I was disgusted and said, "If I can take him grocery shopping in a costume you can take him to a Star Wars movie dressed as Anakin!" I thought he looked great and even Ebenezer Tim agreed....after it was over.

When they got home Gage was on information over load. He had so much he wanted to tell me and his mind was working a mile a minute. From what I caught in between Gage throwing himself on the couch, wielding his lightsaber, and running down the hall it was good movie with lots of action and cute new girl Jedi named Asohka. Ebenezer said that the costume was a huge hit and made Gage the most popular kid in the theater. Gage loved being with his dad alone and staying up late. Way to go Ebenezer!

As for me and Luke. We stayed home and Luke spent the entire time chasing me around with a squirt bottle and laughing when he sprayed himself in the face.

An Inconvient Review

My friend Kathy and I started a book review blog called BookWorm Nation. Last week I read An Inconvenient Book by Glenn Beck. If you are interested in my review check it out at www.bookwormnation.blogspot.com. Kathy reads like 100 books a week and has great taste so if you need a book idea she's the one to ask. I just try to keep up with her.

How Did That Happen?

Luke went to nursery for the first time today. How can that be? Didn't I just have him. Tim was lonely and was talking of trying to take over our friend Shantell's baby. I looked through the peep hole a few times and he was just sitting on the teacher's lap...missing us of course. :) He was ecstatic to see us. Sad day for this mama.

My Summer is Getting Better

This post is kindof a brain drain for me so I can remember what my kids are doing and will probably bore you.

Kids are so adaptable and I guess I am too because we have adjusted to having Tim gone so much. Not that we don't miss him I just don't feel as desperate as I did at the beginning of the summer. We've spent some Family Home Evenings at his office and had some with him over the phone and that has been nice and he hasn't worked on the weekends for a couple of weeks and that always re-fills my tank.

The boys are changing so much and some changes have caught me off guard. They used to be so kind to each other but the sibling rivalry has really kicked in the last couple of weeks. Nothing is more desirable or more wanted then when the other has it. That includes me and means that if you were to drop by my house you would see me swinging with not only Gage on my lap but Luke as well. Gage said it best when he said, "it's a good thing you aren't fat." because I swear I could see the bar bending. They know what buttons to push to make the other one upset and they seem to love to do it. Take for instance, Luke hates it when Gage holds onto his highchair and so the second I turn my back he will do it with a wicked grin. Luke loves to turn the TV off while Gage is watching it and he laughs and runs away which makes it really hard for me to discipline him. Luke is too cute for his own good. He can get out of most things with a smile and jibberish. They seem against each other all day until I say it is time to get ready for bed and then they are all giggles and running away from me together. I really can't win and to be honest it wears me out. The thing with boys though is one second Gage is trying to drown Luke in the tub and the next second they have their heads together laughing over something. I think it is really me that just needs to let it go.

Like I said Luke is about as cherubic as it comes. He is excited about everything. He is in a constant state of chatter and for the life of me I can't understand most of it. I figured out today that the problem is that he is trying to say complicated sentences, because he can say many single words very clearly. Today at the park what I thought was jibberish my dad pointed out was really, "Where did Gage go?" Luke was so pleased that my Dad understood him unlike his loser mom. Luke is progressing much faster than Gage did. I guess just because he can watch Gage. He scorns most toys appropriate for his age in favor of the nerf gun that weights as much as he does. To be honest anything can be a gun and he makes awesome gun sounds. One benefit of him watching Gage is in the potty training area because I caught Luke trying to pee today in the toilet. He was fully clothed of course but he had the swayed back like boys get and was grabbing his front saying, "pee pee." Most days I just sit back exhausted as the boys run circles around me wondering how I got two boys that are so cute and aggravating at the same time.

Gage has also changed quite a bit this summer. He is gaining more self confidence and I'm so happy about it. Today for the first time I saw him take back his toy from a larger boy at the playground and actually Gage was rather rude about it. I know I may be the only mother who gives her son a thumbs up and a nod of approval after such behavior but I'm so tired of Gage getting pushed around because he is kind. I want him to be kind but not to put up with other's crap the rest of his life. Earlier in the summer Gage had two weeks of swimming lessons that went badly. I was worried and hoped that swimming could be a good experience for him. It was taking prayer and coaxing to get him to go each day. I put him in two more weeks of swimming lessons and to use a dumb term he really blossomed. He jumped into the deep end several times and was able to swim a good distance to get to his teacher he also floated on his back by himself. It was so hard to push him but I don't want him to be ruled by fear like I have been for most of my life. He ended up really enjoying his lessons and swimming in general and it felt like a turning point for him.

We've been keeping busy by being with friends, going to the park, shopping, and being with family. I even baked my own whole wheat bread made from wheat from my food storage. Go me! We spent a night at a cabin with Tim's family and Gage was so excited to run around in the woods, go on a ATV and play with his older cousins and be with his cousin from Texas. I don't have any pics of this particular outing so you will have to take my word for it. My brother's family came to visit from the mid-west and Gage adored his kids and it was so nice to meet my newest sweetest nephew. I am learning to focus on the positive and right now that is working for me.

Hideous Waste of My Precious Time

Spoiler Alert - If you have not read Breaking Dawn then you read the following post at your own risk. However if you want to save yourself feeling nauseated and furious then skip the book and read this post instead.




I once made a grave mistake in my reading career. I checked out a seemingly innocent book called Mr Darcy Takes a Wife. It was a continuation, by another author, of the beloved classic Pride and Prejudice. It is one of the few books that I flung back to the library after only 10 pages. The reason you may ask? Because the tension and anticipation of their intimate relationship is better than the actual intimate relationship. Because courting kisses are better than married kisses. I really have no desire to think of Elizabeth Bennett in the throws of childbirth! I learned an important lesson from Mr Darcy Takes a Wife. The difference between a good author and a crap author is a good author knows when to end a book...that leaves Stephanie Meyer hanging out there in the crap quadrant. Sadly I didn't fling Breaking Dawn in the Garbage where it belongs after the first 100 pages.

I was so nervous for Breaking Dawn to come out because I had enjoyed the series and I really didn't see where a whole other book could take the story. At the end of Eclipse we knew the following. Bella had chosen Edward, she was going to marry him, she had broken Jacob's heart, and would become a vamp. The fact of the matter is this. The Twilight series should have been a trilogy. To me the series could have been summed up nicely in a good epilogue. I'll go one step further....Breaking Dawn could have been a small pamphlet if you took all the good parts and put them together. Instead, Stephanie Meyer decided to ride the gravy train to a couple more million and turned out the drivel she called Breaking Dawn. The red pawn on the cover represents the millions of stupid people (me included) who stayed up late Friday night and lined her pockets with more money.

Bella and Edward got married early on in the book. Which translates BORING to me! I'm married...while I love it...it's not the makings for an exciting book. Then Bella gets pregnant with a half vamp half human child. Are you freaking kidding me Stephanie? Again, I have kids....I love them dearly but excitement it does not make. By the time the spawn was chewing it's way out of Bella I was done. Nothing could redeem this book. Alice was MIA for much of the book as was Edward actually. How she dragged it out to 754 pages is beyond me. Even what should have been the exciting part, when the Volturi came, was used and boring. Stephanie must have thought to herself...I could make this really interesting and let the Cullens and friends (stupid again) kick some Volturi butt, but instead I'm going to turn the vamps into freedom fighters who settle the fight with TALKING!!! I'll tell you why she did this. It's so she can milk another series of books out of this but only in Jacob's or some other characters perspective. I actually liked that Jacob imprinted, even on Bella's daughter, because it brought symmetry to their relationship again. That is the one nice thing I can think of to say...however she could have made me equally as happy if he had imprinted on someone else.

There are not words in the English language to describe my disappointment with this book. I need a brain cleansing.

Do do do do do do do dooooooooo!

Tim and I have been watching the first season of the X-Files. We've been watching when really we should be sleeping but we need to have some time together and we enjoyed it. So it sparked the UFO/Alien debate, which we also had while we should have been sleeping, and to be honest I think I feel asleep during Tim's rebuttal. I can't tell you how much I love a good conspiracy theory. If I see something on PBS about some government cover-up it gets me all keyed up and I watch it like normal people watch American Idol...or whatever. I've seen more stuff on JFK than I care to mention and I just love the idea of it for some reason. It's like a puzzle. I'm 28 and love wathcing Frontline. It really doesn't get more pathetic than that. It makes me feel so smart and informed. I don't need cable just PBS. This post is getting away from me. I've wanted to put up one of those poll thingys so please vote on whether you think UFO/Aliens exist. If you do let's plan a trip to Area 51 and Roswell. It would be so fun. I want to be the cliché tourist with a black shirt that says, "The truth is out there!" and gets some geeky guy to take me on his motorcycle to watch the skies for unidentified spacecraft!

Nothing More that Memories

A few of you in the blog world have this on your blog and you can't leave memories about me unless I play as well.

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I (or both of us) have had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

Jackie since I don't think you have a blog, and I think you still read mine, I'm putting my memory of you that still makes me laugh! Remember in gym when you went long to get that birdie and you did the clumsiest horizontal fall I've ever seen and practically landed on our crazy substitue gym teacher's lap? I can still picture your face and I almost peed my pants laughing when it happened. :)

Book Tag

My friend Kathy is my book icon. Anything she says is good to read is really good. I always know I can trust her taste. Thanks to her I read Harry Potter. She tagged me for this book tag and I thought it was cute.

#1 get the closest book: Twilight (obsessed much? Hmm)

#2 find page 123

#3 find the 5th sentence: "'That's Sam -- he's nineteen," he informed me.

#4 tag 5 other people: Becky, Rose, Claudia, Holly, Christina

Programming

I have a few "mom regrets" for this summer thus far. The first of which was when I threw a ball at Gage's head to teach him that Luke doesn't like it when he throws it at his head. It didn't' hurt of course but Gage was crushed that I would throw something at him. This was a real low point.

My true regret hit me last night while I was on a solo walk with Luke. I feel like kids today are over-programmed, over scheduled if you will, and with horror I realized that Gage was one of them. Allow me to illustrate. He started swimming lessons and never mind that he had a little cold...he has to go because I paid 40 bucks and he'll be fine. On Thursday he was scheduled to play with his cousin at Grandma's, never mind that he doesn't really enjoy playing with this cousin...he has to go because it has been scheduled! Then playgroup on Friday (which I love but it's scheduled you know?) Then Saturday, Gage's soccer game in the morning and a Real Soccer Game with just Dad that night...never mind that it starts at 7pm and he goes to bed a 8pm. Surely he can stay up late again...never mind he stayed up late Friday night with friends?

So in between the soccer game in the morning and the Real Soccer game Gage started saying his stomach hurt...nothing that riding the porcelain throne couldn't take care of. He looked so tired and flushed and Tim and I decided that it would be best if they just stayed home. Thankfully we hadn't paid for the tickets because they cost about $45 and if we had paid for them in all likelihood I would have sent him anyway. So, I went into Gage's room and he was just laying on his bed, poor thing, to break the news that he wasn't going to the game. Immediately, he got upset and said, "No! I have to go because me and Dad are supposed to go!" Sometimes the Lord grants mothers wisdom and it dawned on me that what he was really excited about was spending time with his Dad alone. So I said, "Gage I know you were excited to go alone to the game with Dad. So how about you and Dad watch a movie all by yourselves and me and Luke will leave." You cannot imagine his excitement. He was literally bouncing off the walls!! The revelation to me was all he wants is our time...nothing else.

So it was on this walk with Luke that the regrets hit me. I feel like none of these activities are actually making Gage happier and I regret that the world has changed and that my kids can't grow up like I did. I regret that instead of moms teaching their kids letters and colors and writing I send Gage to preschool. I regret that I learned how to socialize with the gang of kids in the neighborhood and that I have to pay for preschool to teach Gage. I regret that I learned how to play sports by playing with kids in the church parking lot and that now we schedule time for kids to exercise. I regret that swimming was fun when I was four and not about going to a lesson for a set amount of time. I regret that the world was my laboratory and that I learned about bugs and such from a being outside and not a class at the library. My son is 4 years old and will be strapped the rest of his life with schedules and things he has to do. The glory days were when he was 2! How pathetic. I'm left wondering how you get off this merry-go-round because all he really needs is playmates and to play 80% of the time but sadly that has to be scheduled now days as well. I regret that the only person I know who agrees 100% with me lives 1800 miles east of here. I miss you Nate! Lastly, I regret that I'm old enough to now think my childhood was wonderful and worry about the next generation. :)

**a note to the reader - if your child is thriving with schedules and loving all their activities I'm so happy for you and I do not mean this post as a judgment on anyone.

Love the Earth. Hate the Lightbulbs.

I recently had an argument with my sweet sister-in-law about global warming. Basically my feelings on the subject can be summed up as follows. It is one of the most insidious hoaxes that has ever been pushed on the American public. If you don't agree you can really spare me all the polar bear crap and the line about if the earth doesn't survive then we won't either. I love the earth I believe God created it for our use and he expects us to take care of it and be good stewards. To be honest I have no idea whether the burning of fossil fuels is causing the earth to warm but I believe in priorities and if Iran nukes us or Israel, or more realistic our economy collapses when China calls in our foreign debt or the like we really won't have the luxury about worrying if we are green enough and if our pants are made out of organic hemp or whatever. Here's the thing. The people who are pushing this whole green trend...and yes I think it is a trend that will fade just like Tab and wall bangs...are making money and pushing all kinds of ridiculous so called fixes to "save the earth." Most of the environmentalists care more about polar bears than human life and next they will tell me that I'm a vegetable killer and that really the earth would be better off if I just laid down in my hemp clothes and died and fertilized the earth so the flora and fauna won't be disturbed by my existence. I know that is extreme but the whole thing fires me up.

I also had an argument with my sister about those new light bulbs. My problem was that they contain mercury and the same people who tell me that I have to buy one, if I care about the planet, are the same people who freak out if they find a trace of mercury in a fish! The hypocrisy kills me. Anyway, my sister didn't believe me when I told her they contain mercury and she said, "who told you that Rush Limbaugh." I was lover not a fighter that day and sweet justice is mine. Ahem. A friend sent Tim this youtube, http://youtube.com/watch?v=e-LOtKIIKcg, about the new light bulbs and I wanted to share. I guess light bulbs need to be added to my food storage list. And please please please realize I love the earth, really I do. It is beautiful and one of God's creations. If I could fit my arms around the earth I'd give it a big hug. I do think we should take care of it I just questions the methods. Seriously though, the frickin’ geniuses in Washington are spending our tax dollars telling me what kind of light bulb I have to use when they should really be concentrated on a million more important issues that are in the scope of the federal government. I'm just representin'

Summer Time Fun

This has been one of the most pleasant summer's temperatures wise that I can remember in a long time. We've only hit 100 degrees once and it really cools off at night and makes for a nice breeze coming through my window. Gage started swimming lessons this week. To be honest I really wasn't sure how the whole thing would play out because he doesn't like water on his face in the tub...kind of important when you are swimming. Parenthood is one of the strangest experiences of my life. When the kid is born you have this overwhelming desire to protect them and so I listened for the first year or so (okay I listened for longer only because they were practically yelling at me!) and then you are supposed to fly in the face of those feelings and let him jump off the side into 3 ft water when he has been at swimming lessons for all of about 5 minutes. I'm not going to lie to you that it took all my will power to sit in my chair and not run over there and yell, "WAIT, HE CAN'T SWIM!" Thankfully my friend Jenn has her son in the same class and she was talking to me at the time and I have no clue what she said. I was just concentrating on her voice and the not running and making a fool of myself part. Sorry Jenn...hope you didn't say anything important. So the strange part of parenthood is that voice is wrong because he jumped right off and didn't drown and he also has been putting his face in the water which is lesson # 2 that kids will do stuff for other people that they won't do for a neurotic mother. Anyway, he has only taken 3 lessons and I'm really impressed with his progress. He can float on his back, blow bubbles, jump off and float to the top, and sort of paddle. Who knew?

Luke loves watching his brother at swimming lessons and cheering for him. He's still into the whole string thing so I bought him one of those yo yo's that rewinds itself on its own. He is totally delighted to just pull the string and let it fly back. Ok, I'm delighted too....how can you resist that belly laugh? His favorite word is "here" which he says constantly. He also discovered babies on Elmo and so he is calling all children he perceives as smaller than him "BayBEE." I tell him he is my baby and he will grab his tummy and say, "BayBEE!" Tim's favorite was when he found a picture of himself and exclaimed, "BayBEE" and proceeded to jibber jabber about himself.

Hush Little Baby

Luke woke up in the night sick. He has had a fever all day, despite motrin, and he is officially the saddest little thing. I just rocked him to sleep. I love holding my kids in the rocking chair and singing to them. My very creative and talented friend Megan wrote a poem for her son at like 2 in the morning (can you imagine being creative at 2 in the morning?) and ever since I read her poem I remembered how much I like poetry and how I used to like to write it in High School. Like most things I love setting words to music so I sang Luke his own version of Hush Little Baby. It's really corny but I never said I was Edgar Allen Poe.

My Little Luke

My little Luke I'm so sorry your sick,

I know you wouldn't choose it if you had your pick.

I'm trying to be patient, really I am

I'm sitting here waiting for Aunt Pam.

You're awfully sweet lying there in my arms

But that's no surpise sweet is part of your charm.

I hope you get better will be my prayer

I love you very much, I can't help but declare.

My little Luke don't fuss, just rest

Calling you my son makes me feel so blessed.