A Tale of a Recovering Germ-a-phob

It is no secret I'm a card carrying Germ-a-phob. Been that way since college. It has gotten worse since I've had kids. The last couple of months though I've really cooled on my obsessive thoughts and hand-washing and hand sanitizing. The main reason was that I was expending so much energy with hand cleansing and worry and we still were sick pretty much all winter long so I just put up the white flag to germs and have accepted them as just a part of life...especially with young children. That is not to say that I don't still keep my kids away from people that I know are sick or that I'm inconsiderate of others and bring my kids to things when they are sick. That is a major pet peeve of mine.

But my recovery has been thrown a major curve ball. THE SWINE FLU!! I'm all kinds of freaked out. It was too early in my recovery for a global pandemic to hit. The Germs are conspiring against me. Now I can add paranoia to my list of mental distress.

My Quilt At Last

My friend Kerrah's mom makes chenille baby quilts and when I saw hers I really wanted to make one. Kerrah got the instructions for me and around Christmas time I started making the baby (still THE BABY since we have yet to pick a name. We are open for suggestions) a quilt. Tim thought it was a bit premature to chose pink fabric but I knew it was going to be a girl. It only took me 4 months (sarcasm) and I finally have it finished. I actually did all the quilting in about a week and then it sat forever for the binding. Tim's mom was nice enough to bind it for me and I love how it turned out!!

Our camera does not take good close ups but this is the top. I machine quilted it with blue thread. Basically in diagonal lines...which if you dont' look too close look pretty straight. The quilt consists of 4 layers of fabric and my arms were so sore from pulling this thing through the machine.

This is the chenille side. It is a piece of gold flannel sewn right side up and dark and light pink flannel that are cut after you sew and then washed to fray.

Here is the finished product. I tried to get it so you could see both sides. I'm getting so excited to wrap my little one in it. Of course it will be June and hot but I'm still wrapping her in it and she'll like it.

The Love Triangle

This week I have gotten a glimpse of what my boys are going to be like in their teenage years and frankly it is turning my hair white. There is an 8 or 9 year old girl who lives across the circle from us and she is often killing the time, waiting for her mom to come home, by playing in her front yard. Sometimes she wanders over to our yard to talk....more accurately stand and smile sweetly because she is so shy! Anyway, Gage is always on the look out for Arianna only he calls her Rianna and Luke calls her Launa. Both the boys flirt outrageously with her and follow/chase her every where she goes. They funny thing is I think she likes to comes over to talk to Tim because she only comes over when he is out and he is so cute with her.

Yesterday we were having a picnic dinner in the backyard and Gage must have known it was about the time we see Arianna because he kept up a vigil at our back gate looking for her. When she made her appearance Gage was so excited and yelled to us that Arianna had cute clothes on today. Indeed she did have cute clothes on...a cute sundress over jeans. Both boys bailed on us in favor of the front yard so they could look and chase and talk to Arianna. Luke was especially into her last night and I looked over in time to see him sort of petting her dress then when he saw me he grabbed the hem and pointed to her and said, "She cute!" I'm sure you can picture his sweet voice and batting eyelashes but he was turning on his inner Romeo! Then Gage pipes up, "She's not cute her clothes are" Tim and I both disagreed and said that we thought she was cute. Gage then said quietly, "I think she is cute too!"

The chasing and the talking and the coy smiles directed at Tim lasted for a little while longer and then Gage picked some dandelions for Arianna. I think it is time I practice my "Stay away from girls their evil!" speech. (if you've seen The Water Boy with Adam Sandler you know the reference) Actually it was quite charming to watch even though Arianna has a crush on my husband and is getting the "flowers" I usually get from Gage!

I Need Privacy

Gage has been saying for a while now that he needs privacy to get dressed. Don't ask me why he needs privacy to do that but not when he gets out of the tub and runs naked through the house. Luke has caught on and now he proclaims, "I need pie-racy" and often shuts his bedroom door to poop or to just play. Everyone apparently gets pie-racy but me! No one listens when I say that when I'm getting dressed or using the facilities. What's up with that?

The Next Person To Annoy Me Dies

Do you think the title of this post would make a good slogan for a maternity shirt? Do you think if I had it printed on a shirt that people would stop messing with me? I've got to vent....please bare with me or stop reading.

I'm never buying or selling a house again...ever!!! I have never met more unreasonable and asinine people then I have met since we put our house on the market. I always make the mistake in thinking that because I'm reasonable that others will be that way too....oh no....no no no no....that is not the case. I can't tell you how screwy the real estate market is right now and how distrustful and jittery everyone is. It makes me want to scream, "Just calm the freak down!!!" Maybe I'll make a shirt that says that too.

The kids are on sugar detox this week and it is a nightmare. Luke subsists on crackers and anything with refined sugar. He drives me up the wall and I finally just said enough. With all the house crap going on and being pregnant I've been in the bad habit of just caving to the kids. I'm starting to get worried about Luke's teeth and I want him to be healthy so I cut the junkie off. Gage too...although he monitors himself really well....he loves fruits and veggies and eats plenty of whole grains but he isn't getting any either. When I say detox I mean I couldn't imagine a cocaine addict coming off the snuff to be any worse. Luke is throwing fits like never before when I say no candy. I'm sure he has the shakes and next I expect to hear him crying over some candy hallucination. I'm a mama on the edge. He'll thank me when he is older and still has all his teeth.

I went to Motherhood Maternity today. I hate that store with every fiber of my being. The sales people being my main complaint. They don't leave you alone from the moment you walk in the door. The only thing that enticed me to go there was they have these secret fit belly pants that are soooo comfortable and I'm getting to the mu mu stage where I tell fashion to take a hike. I'm carrying this baby super low and all my pants are cutting her and me in half. Well in true Motherhood Maternity fashion by the time I got to my stupid dressing room the sales ladey had filled it with "shirts she thought I might like!?!" and bras. Really lady? I wasn't aware that you knew me well enough to think that I would ever wear that orange monstrosity you put in dressing room #2 even if it is on sale and still 30 bucks. Oh and by the way I have a drawer full of bras at home so you CAN GET THIS CRAP OUT OF MY DRESSING ROOM SO I CAN HANG UP THE STUFF I CHOSE!! So I found one pair of carpi's that I like and 50 bucks and 20 minutes of her trying to hussle me yet more bras, asking me for donations, my email, (which I lied and said I didn't have an account) and my phone number and as a final departing gift informing me that nothing can be returned I finally escaped. Only to be honked at by some big red Chevy truck for not going on a RED arrow. I was this close to a road rage moment!

Lastly, have you seen the commercials for "Smoker Man?" They are commercials, not doubt designed by some brainless advertising graduate who has an inflated opinion of both his intellect and his skills, that are supposed to warn against the evils of smoking. They are super ironic. The tag line says "He's the one who can't!" and it shows a little boy playing with this action figure and he "can't" do the things the boy wants him to do because he smokes. Well news flash whichever idiot who created this figure and whichever executive who signed off on it because when a 4 year old boys sees a cape he's gone and irony is lost on children! Gage is obsessed with Smoker Man and looks to see if we can buy one at the store. Trying to explain these commercials is not going well and all it has really done is made Gage super interested in smoking which he is positive that cigarettes are broken off crayons! If you are interested in viewing this piece of poop for yourself you can visit http://www.fighttheugly.com/ Maybe it is just me....if it is don't say anything to me because I'm libel to bite your head off.

Have a nice day.

My Smarty Pants

I've felt like for a long time that I'm not smart enough to raise Gage. I know we all think our kids are smart so my problem is not so much that he is eerie smart at times as much as I'm just dumb. He asks really challenging questions that I think can't be normal for 4 year old. He knows the Book of Mormon Prophets much much better than I do and consistently makes me feel dumb. He can learn the lyrics of a song just hearing it once...just ask anyone in primary. He adds and subtracts and his vocabulary is extensive....to use a word he can probably define. He's really sensitive and intuitive about what others are feeling and his feelings are easily hurt. He's funny though because some things that I think he should easily do or understand he doesn't and then he'll whip out something like he did on Sunday. Tim and I were talking about the impending doom of moving and we were not really seeing eye to eye....really Tim was just being a man and not getting my pregnancy hormones. Gage broke in and said, "Mom can I talk to Dad for a second?" I said, "yes." Well, Gage turns to his dad and said, "Dad don't you get that Mom isn't strong right now because of the baby!" How adorable is that? No matter how old Gage gets he'll always be this sweet little boy to me. I love you buddy. Sorry I yell at you so much lately.

Not Such A Great Idea

Selling your house while you are pregnant is a bad idea. An even worse idea is selling your house while pregnant and having a cold for 3 straight months with sick kids off and on during those same 3 months. It has probably been since my last semester of college where I was working over 40 hours a week in a very demanding job, carrying 20 credit hours, and learning how to be a wife that I have ever felt as stressed as I have the last couple of weeks. For those who don't know our house sold last week and it only took a day for the "YEA!!!" feeling to wear off. I'm not complaining that it sold I just think it was so foolish of me to do this while I'm pregnant.

I know lots of women who are normal human beings while they are pregnant and do spin class until the day they deliver but I am not one of those women. My pelvis has felt like it is falling apart pretty much since I found out I was pregnant. I really don't know what I would do if Andrea didn't come at my every beck and call to put me back together. Even with her heavenly service there are times that I get out of bed in the morning and feel like my bones are literally cracking under my ever growing weight. Today I had my first fainting spell of this pregnancy while I was yelling at Gage for not getting dressed. I'm actually yelling a lot lately which makes me feel horrible and there is nothing like scaring your kids for life by having them watch you half fall half lay down on a hard wood floor in the middle of yelling. All of this does not make me the best house shopping companion. Sorry Tim...it's the hormones...I will be normal again I promise.

All I've been hearing is how it is a buyer's market out there and that there is this great inventory of houses on the market. We are not finding this to be the case at all. We are finding a lot dumps and a lot of overpriced homes where the owners think they can still get top dollar for the their 3 bedroom bungalow. I feel like yelling at them....it isn't the summer of 2007!! We put in an offer yesterday on a house that we really liked and the owners came back with the most ridiculous counter offer that we walked. They made no concessions and only dropped their price by not even $4,000 for a house that won't appraise for what they are asking. If by chance there is a house that is a realistic price and decent enough that it isn't a health hazard to live in then it is snatched up so fast! We have had 4 houses that we've been on the way to see only to find out they got an offer the day before. Found a few houses that smell like pee and Asian food. Found one nice house that had water damage the day before we came that destroyed the top floor. Excellent is all I can say....dripping with sarcasm. We have to be out of this house by May 5th and the prospect of not having a new house by the time I deliver this baby in June is haunting me.

My mantra: It will work out....It will work out....It will work out....It will work out.