Things That Remind Me Who I Am

This week has felt really frustrating.  Never enough time.  Never enough energy.  Never a clean house.  Never getting it all accomplished.  I feel like my family is going in 50 different directions and in some ways they are since I drive to and from the elementary school four times a day and take Claire to and from Preschool twice a week.  Soccer and Cubs falls on the same night which is super fun and don't even get me started with Saturdays.  I know, compared to others, I probably have it easy and my sister says it will get worse, but dang it, I don't think I've had a clean house since school started.   

I was talking to my Dad this afternoon and he said I sounded harried and wanted to know why.  I just told him I was trying to get it all done and it wasn't working out for me.  He told me that when I lived at home I used to play my music really loud in the morning while I showered and it annoyed him.  He was expressing his annoyance to my mom and she told him to relax because when I was gone he would miss it one day.  He didn't believe her.  Then I got married and the first day he woke up to the quiet house he had been wanting he realized that he did miss the music because it meant I was at home.    So he was telling me to enjoy all the craziness while it lasted because one day it would end and I'll miss it because my kiddos will be gone. 

It is funny that he told me that story because earlier today I snapped a few pictures of things that make me smile because it reminds me that I am Gage, Luke, and Claire's mom.  When I stop having these things it will mean that I at last have a clean house but it will also mean my children are grown. 

***You can only look at the following pictures if you promise not to judge my disgusting shower and medicine cabinet.  I plan to clean them.....one day!*** 

This is Dr. Piggie.  After Luke helps Claire get into her car seat he helps her make sure that Dr. Piggie is properly restrained as well.  It takes forever to go anywhere but safety should come first even for a stuffed animal. 

Gage loves to watch himself in the mirror while he brushes his teeth and he usually gets into trouble for it so he started opening all the doors to avoid the temptation.  When I walked by this morning I knew he had brushed his teeth and it made me smile.  I must hang up that towel at least 50 times a day.   

Evidence that Luke likes to read in the shower.  Thankfully I removed the book before I started the shower. 

Evidence that Luke and Claire were playing "Doggie Ship" in the basement. 

While I was cleaning up the basement I came upstairs to find that Luke and Claire had decided to "camp" on the tramp.  I've noticed that it takes almost no time at all to "set up" camp and it takes and hour to take "camp" back in.   

Claire Dances At Last

For about 6 month Claire would tell almost anyone that she was going to go to Dance Class.  I decided it was time for her to give it a try so I enrolled her in a Dance Class through Community Ed to see what she thought.

She loves it of course!  In some ways I'm living vicariously through her because I never got to take Dance as a youth but I always wanted to.  She is in her element with all the pink and other girls.  Yeeeee! 

 

 

This is her favorite move!  And she can go a surprisingly long distance on those tip toes. 

Luke Learns to Ride a Two - Wheeler

 

 

 

 

Last week Luke learned how to ride his two wheeler.  He was mighty proud of himself and so were we!  He caught on very quickly and I say Tim got off pretty easy because he didn't have to do too much running.  Since he has started Kindergarten Luke has gained so much self confidence and it is so fun to watch.  

 

Is There Even A God?

This afternoon while I was practicing the piano my Luke came to me and looked very upset.  He showed me the back of his ear and said, "The mosquitoes bites are back."  Luke has been eaten alive all summer long, even through repellent, and the back of his ear seems like prime real estate for the pesky bug.  He must have been bitten again at soccer practice last night and the whole back side of his ear was swollen and red. 

After I told him how sorry I was that he had been bitten again he threw up his hands in the air and with tears shining in his eyes said, "I don't get it!  Is there even a God?"  He went on to say that he prayed he would not get any more mosquito bites and there on the back of his ear is the evidence that God didn't come through on that request.  Then  he climbed onto my lap and cried the bitter tears of betrayal.  And I felt like I could relate.

I really didn't know where to start to explain the complexities of prayers not answered in the manner you expect.  Luke isn't the first to have something crappy happen to him or look out and see crappy things and exclaim, "Is there even a God?"  He just seems like the one of the youngest to ask it! 

So I tried telling him that when he asks me for fruit snacks sometimes I say yes and sometimes I say no.  It doesn't mean I haven't heard him ask or failed to answer if I say no.  He wasn't buying it and his face looked scared and the look on his face said, "God doesn't want me to have fruit snacks either!"  As we walked upstairs to get the hydrocortizon Luke said, "Why does this life have to be so hard?"  The fruit snack analogy got me nowhere so I changed tactics and said that if things always went perfect that we would never be thankful because we have never experienced the bad.  He didn't get that either.  He thought he was just fine if the mosquitoes never bit him.  The image in my head, of the effectiveness of my arguments, was that of a plane spiraling to the earth.  I took his hands and told him that God loves him and hard things will help him become who God wants him to be.  He cried again. 

Then I told a lie. 

I told him that I had read somewhere that if you eat red or pink Starbursts that it makes mosquito bites stop itching.  He instantly brightened and he wolfed down a few and was happy.  If only pink and red Starbursts could repair my faith so easily!        

Maybe it wasn't a lie because he didn't complain of the bites itching after he ate them.  Ok, my conscience feels better.

And Then There Were None

Can you hear that?  It is the sound of silence.  As I write this post the only thing to keep me company is my ipod play-list.  All of my children are in school right now... 


Back to school this year has been a little bit like pulling off a band aid excruciatingly slow.  Gage started August 27th and it was so hard for Luke to wait an entire week to start Kindergarten.  Once Kindergarten was out of the way then Claire was so antsy to start Pre-school that she asked me constantly if it was time to go to school yet. 

Gage says 3rd grade is, "the most awesome grade ever!"  That kid has some enthusiasm.  On the first day I asked him if I could walk over and wait with him for the bell to ring and he said, "No.  But you can if you want to."  I walked over with him and kept my distance and took pictures on the sly so I wouldn't embarrass him this year.  When the bell rang he gave the tiniest almost imperceptible look over his shoulder to see I was there and then lifted his hand ever so slightly in what I think was a wave.

Gage also started Cub Scouts and he is loving it.  The pack meetings are so fun.  It is fun to see him so official and earning stuff.

 

He is proud of earning his Bobcat Badge before his first Den Meeting. When he was presented with his badge and it was time to pin the "mother pin" on me I was very sorry that I wore a loose shirt and that I was so tall and had to bend over so much so he could pin it on. Then he dropped the pin back down my shirt and the whole thing was a hot mess.


I will not go through that again so I plan on making one of these....    

Onto Luke now.  When Luke met his teacher for the first time at his Kindergarten Assessment  he turned bright red and was tongue-tied.  Luke is never tongue-tied.  As I watched him I realized it was because he thought his teacher is cute.  When we got home I asked him if he thought she was cute and he got a shy grin and said, "Yes."

He was so excited on the first day and he couldn't wait to be in the same school as Gage.  As he stood in line and waited for the bell to ring he started talking to the boy next to him and they seem like they are going to be friends.  I mentioned to the other boy's mom that I wish it was as easy for me to make friends as it is for 5 year olds.    

And just like that....Friends.

 

 

I thought that I wouldn't feel so sad sending Luke to Kindergarten since I've done it once before.  I almost felt worse because I know it isn't my imagination that this the beginning of the end.  I feel like Kindergarten pushes the sled at the top of the hill toward my birdies leaving the nest.  It all goes so fast after Kindergarten and I just want to maintain my position in my kid's life and I know to do so would warp them terribly.  But, as I stood in line I just stared at Luke.  All the chaos that was going on around me faded into nothing more than back-ground noise.  I just wanted to soak in the memory of my little man and the feeling like he was my baby.  When he walked into those Kindergarten doors, without even a backward glance I might add, I felt like someone turned the page in the book of Luke's life and I realized that a new chapter had begun. 

 

And then I cried.   

 

I cried because I was happy that he was confident and didn't need me.  It means I've done my job.  I cried because he didn't need me. 

 

His teacher prepared this note and I thought it was so cute.....       

 

 

 

 

I know it is impossible but I swear I picked up a different kid later that day.  He just seemed more mature somehow and so proud of himself.  All my worrying about his letters, which he hasn't been able to name all summer until I was positive he had a learned disability, was for nothing because he names them now, two days later, and tells me their sounds and writes them quite nicely.  I guess he was just messing with me all summer or he just wasn't motivated.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then there were none.  After I dropped Claire off at school today a friend texted me and asked me to meet her at the park in 15 minutes.  My car was so quiet it was loud and I texted back that all my kids were in school this morning.  It was the strangest feeling. 

 

 

 

 

All week I have been asking Tim if the boys were this young when I sent them to preschool.  I tossed and turned all night wondering if she would be happy at school and make girlfriends since that is what she has been looking forward to the most.  That and of course her princess backpack! 

 

 

 

 

She has been so excited that she literally squeals in delight and she too, like her brothers before her, walked right in the school like it was nothing.  I need to pick her up in a few minutes and I have spent all my time, in this impossibly quiet house, writing this post.  I'm excited to hear laughter and running feet again.   

 

 

 

 

p.s.  I think a crazy lady must have written the above.  Claire and Luke are home again and the chaos is back with them and what was I thinking to waste the silence with being sad?



Summer 2012

Since summer is officially over I thought I'd take a second to record a little bit of our goings on from this summer.  When I began to sort through our photos I began to see a theme.  Family and the mountains.  In my book those are two awesome things and we spent a lot of time with both. 


Hiking with the Wright Cousins....

Rocking climbing at the Wright Family July 4th Canyon Breakfast....

Saturday Hike....

Where ever we go Gage is good at finding a hiking stick....

In June, my sister Rachel and her girls came for a visit.  It was great to see them and it provides a great stay-cation for my kids! 


Bianca and Claire on the chair lift in Park City....

Claire says Piper is her best friend. These girls were in seventh heaven playing with the boy's Lego's while the boys were somewhere else!

With Lexus behind the wheel Luke felt brave enough to conquer the Alpine Slide. Somebody has a cousin crush! 

Gage was finally tall enough to tackle it on his own.... 

In July, my neighbor sponsored a neighborhood Kid's Reverse Triathlon.  The first event was a 1 1/2 mile run and then a 4 mile bike ride and then the pool for a party.  Luke was determined to run with Gage in his age division and he did well for being the littlest kid out there!  I don't have a picture of the boys coming across the finish line because I was running backwards on the course to try and encourage Luke.  Claire also ran but I was running with her too so I don't have pics of that either! 


The race begins....

This little guy took it like a man and never gave up...

No pics of the bike ride either because I was helping Luke.  But here is the medal ceremony.  Gage was a little disappointed because he didn't feel like he did well in the bike ride.  He got a gold for "never giving up" and I thought he did awesome even if he wasn't the fastest!  I was proud of him.  He didn't have gears on his bike and he ended up doing an extra lap than some of the other kids his age and that made him finish slower.   

Luke won a gold for his performance and Claire a silver...

At the end of August I took the kids to the Brigham City LDS Temple Open House.  My dad came with us and he is always good for a laugh.  It was a great opportunity for the kids to see the inside of a temple.  I thought it was so beautiful and unique.  The area is known for their peaches and the temple had peach blossom motifs on the outside of the temple and on some of the tile work.   There were also beautiful paintings of people working in peach orchards hanging in various places.  It was a nice touch. 

For Labor Day weekend we decided to bite the bullet and finally take the kids on an over-night camp.  We are major losers that we have not done this sooner.  No sooner was the camp-site booked that we saw the weather cast for the weekend.  That's right....rain.  We are in the middle of a drought and it hasn't rained in weeks and the weekend we want to go the forecast says rain!!!  Just our luck.  On the way over Parley's Summit it was raining HARD.  I was nervous.  When we got to the site it was still raining and Tim just started setting up the tent.  I was ready to throw in the towel.  Miraculously the rain stopped and it was clear the rest of the night.  The boys went snipe hunting, played with the fire, and played chess.  The sky was clear when we went to bed and the kids fell asleep quickly.  I thought to myself, "It's all down hill from here."  And then the THUNDER and LIGHTENING and RAIN began.  The thunder shook the tent, the lightening burned our retinas and the rain leaked onto our beds!  At 5:45 am we gave up and started packing up because who was sleeping anyway?  By 6:30 we had packed up camp and lo and behold the rain stopped.  I swear the cosmos were having fun messing with us.  We un-packed the food and made breakfast.  The sky looked threatening again so we finally headed home.  Despite the rain the kids asked when we could do it again.  So it was a success!

Tim's nephew Zach came with us.  He is so much fun!

This was before the rain began to fall.....

So long Summer.  See you next year!