Last week my mom's mom passed away at age 96. The funeral was yesterday and left me with all these feelings I want to say about my extraordinary Grandmother. One of my mom's neighbors came to the viewing and I told her that Grandma was an amazing woman and if I could live to be 1/10 of who she was I would consider my life a success. The lady very bluntly, not rudely or anything, asked me what was so great about her and I felt like I could have gone on for hours.
Grandma has been such a source of warmth, love, strength, wisdom and laughter in my life that I feel like the sun has not shined as brightly since she passed. She was the most organized woman on the planet and wrote her posterity books about her life, joke books, and books about her parents life. When I say book I mean it....they are several 100 pages long. Some life histories can be as boring as cold tar but her books are hilarious. I've been reading them to Tim in bed and we have just laughed and laughed. She never thought about herself and she sincerely cared for, served, and expressed her love to ALL those around her. She really did look at the heart of a person. At the luncheon, after her funeral, some random person came into the church and started eating the food. She was in street clothes and carried a backpack and she piled her plate high. I leaned over to my mom and said, "Do you know who that is?" No one knew who she was and I was starting to get worked up and said, "Well we should tell her get out of here!" My mom softly said, "Oh no, Mother would have loved that....helping someone who needed it." I have a long way to go to be even a 1/10 as good as Grandma or my own mom.
When I think about all she has seen in her lifetime it truly humbles me. When I think about all she accomplished when she and my Grandpa had such limited means in makes me want to cry. When I think how positive she was up until her last breath it fills me with awe. I love her because she chose to laugh instead of cry. Oh how she made me laugh. I love that she called herself the "damn-it grandma." I love her because she wrote beautiful poetry and because she always had something witty to say. The night I went to say goodbye to her I copied down two quotes she had on her refrigerator the last one was read at the funeral. All are so much like grandma.
"Remember....Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in your garage makes you a car."
"We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."
"Swearing is the expression of a weak mind to forcefully express itself." Written in her handwriting underneath this quote was the following: "This is what is wrong with me....I have a weak mind!"
For once in my life I don't feel like I have enough words. How to express what a special woman she was or how I felt about her? But, whenever I see a rose or a beautiful garden I will think of her soft hands with all their age spots that were as capable as a man's but as tender as a mother's. Whenever I hear a bird singing sweetly in the trees, especially a hummingbird, I'll stop and watch it and remember that Grandma appreciated the simple things in life. Whenever I wear the color purple I will think of how it was her favorite color and how pretty her white hair looked when she wore it. When my kids are old enough to go toilet papering I'll go along in honor of all the friends and neighbors that grandma toilet papered in her life. When things get hard I will remember her and that she told me to say my prayers and to keep my sense of humor. I was so blessed to know her and honored to call her Grandmother.
