A Christmas Theory

So while I was doing my dishes I was meditating. I don't have a dishwasher and the dishes had been piling up for a few days so I really had nothing else to do but think. I know it is hard to believe but I do do that from time to time....think I mean. I was thinking about my year and realized that last year at this time I was pregnant with my L-Dawg and I was really sympathizing with Mary and what she must have gone through to carry the savior and deliver him in such humble circumstances. While I was thinking, I had to give L-Dawg another cracker and I caught sight of a magnet on our fridge that has a quote on it by Elder Maxwell that says, "Each of us is an Innkeeper who decides if their is room for Jesus." Sadly, I felt nothing but shame when I looked at that magnet. I contemplated and came up with my Christmas Theory that perhaps we can judge our standing with the savior by which nativity character we are most like. Last year I felt like Mary. I was pregnant and for me that is a spiritual experience and the closest I get to touching so called heavenly things. It was a difficult pregnancy for me and so I learned to rely on prayer and I felt really close to the savior. What a difference a year makes. I think this year I am the innkeeper. I'm always busy, sometimes too "busy" to pray and like the innkeeper who was so busy I've maybe missed the opportunity to help someone when it really could have mattered. I think I've been missing the meat and potatoes. So I started thinking who I want to be like from the nativity. I like animals so I thought that maybe I would like being the manger animals. But the more I thought about that I realized that I've done that before. I decided the animals simply showed up. They know that something important is going on but in their ignorance they don't grasp that they are staring at the Son of God. To me that's the guy that comes to sacrament meeting while the opening hymn is being sung and doodles on his program. I don't want to be that guy for sure. Maybe strong and faithful Joseph or Wise men who sacrificed and sought out the Lord. I've certainly never been the angel who proclaimed the glad tidings. I'm scared of missionary work because of the proclaiming part so that is something to work up to. I think I might work towards being a Shepard. They took care of their flock but still made time to come and worship the Lord. I can do that. I hope you all have a wonder Christmas and for those of you I won't get to see...I love you and miss you.

Awwww

 I took this picture of my boys in the car on the way back from dropping T-Dawg off to work. Go ahead, you know you want to... "ahhhhhhwwwww" I thought it was adorable and I love those kids to pieces. L-Dawg got his two front teeth and he looks really cute. G-Dawg is really excited for Santa to come and I can't wait to see his face when he opens his presents. Kids have really brought the magic of Christmas back for me. I feel that same anticipation that I did when I was a kid and I snuck into our living room to see what Santa brought and told my bro he was getting a truck which to this day he says I ruined his Christmas surprise...sorry....again.

My Good Opinion Once Lost is Not Lost Forever

OK, so what I'm about to write will shock those who have ever talked to me about the following topic. In fact, if you have heart problems, that means you Queen Pamidala, I don't suggest reading it at all. If you don't have heart problems you could just pretend you do so you don't have to read it either. So, I think I might have been wrong about Mitt Romney. I'll wait so you can gasp. He gave a speech last week, about religion in American, and it was aired live here so I lined up all my rotten tomatoes and good one liners to yell at the screen and watched. No one was more surprised than me when I found myself agreeing with him and feeling those feelings of patriotism that I don't usually feel unless I'm studying U.S. History. There were two things he talked about that really resonated with me and I'll talk about those and be done never to speak on the topic again. First he said that he would answer to no church including the Mormon church. I liked that because I don't think Huckabee can answer the same and the Evangelist scare the crap outta me. The other thing he said that I loved was that there are some in the country who would force their "religion" of secularism on us all. I couldn't agree more. He quoted many of the founding fathers to illustrate why this is wrong and not what our country was founded on. To me it is getting to the point that the 2nd amendment has been so perverted that it will in essence replace the constitution entirely since it and other documents use the name of God in them. I gained respect for him when he said that some said that speaking about his religion and staying true to it would hurt his candidacy and replied, "then so be it." I honestly didn't think he had it in him. Either he has a really good, and I mean needs a raise, speech writer or as the media reported he wrote the speech on his own and I would really consider voting for him. Let me be clear though it still annoys me to no end when people quote him in church like he is running to be president of the church and not the country. And I fear if he were elected I'd be annoyed a lot!! Maybe that is a Utah thing?

Portland...

As mentioned in my previous post I went to Portland last week to visit my sister and her family for my niece's baptism. It was so great to get to see them on their home turf. Portland is beautiful...even in the winter and so green. Although they assure me that it is even more beautiful in the spring and summer. It rained the entire time we were there...big surprise I know for the pacific northwest. But this girl from the desert craved the sun more than you can imagine. Even the lights at 8pm, in the SLC airport, seemed brighter than the lights in Portland! I traveled with my oldest brother and my mom and dad. This was a new experience. My brother is even a bigger germ freak than I am and that was refreshing because I felt more normal when I was around him. My niece was a little anxious for the baptism part. I mean who can blame her? If she were at the pool and somebody came and held her under water while a room full of people watched that would be cruel but it is good while your at the stake center. Anyway, her dad took it real slow and he needed too because she has long hair that was not pulled back. Where were you on that one R-Dawg? Ahem. Anyway, all the little kids where right up by the font and one of the little kids exclaimed, "that was the slowest baptism I've ever seen!" Good job C-Dawg! I found out that Bee is an avid game player and that she wins at every game. (that's because she cheats!) I think we should warn Las Vegas now because she was extremely good at hiding it for a 5 year old!! I had a great time and missed all 3 of my boys a ton!

I Want To Go Where Everybody Knows My Name

I had this whole schpill ready in my head to write about atheists and it was really good but I'm just too tired to lay it out for you here. Maybe in one of my forthcoming posts. Just to prove how terribly degenerative my thinking is today I'll tell you that I've been thinking about the TV show Cheers. I know that is a strange jump from atheists and I won't attempt to explain the logic. Back to Cheers, it wasn't a great show by any means. I actually went to the Cheers bar once while I was in Boston and I can tell you that it made the show look like a Pulitzer prize winner. I watched the show though and the two people I liked the most were Norm and Cliff. They seemed like regular guys that you could get along with. Today I've been thinking that I wish I was like Norm. Not the drunk and fat part or even the really unflattering suits but remember when he came into the bar everyone yelled, "NORM!" I really think that just once in my life it would be really neat to walk into a room and have everyone yell, "JESS!" No, that doesn't have the same ring. Maybe, "PUDGE!" I want to go where everybody knows my name.

I'm flying to Portland this weekend for my nieces baptism and I'm not really into air travel. I hate the security, and the waiting, and the being so close to smelly strangers. Not to mention that I really don't understand the physics behind what keeps the plane flying so I get a little freaked out. I'm also feeling a lot of anxiety about leaving the kids. You know, everyday I think I would kill for a break and now that I have one for a few days I feel anxious. What kind of cruel mom joke is that anyway? I'm really excited though to see my sister and her fam and where they are living.

G-Dawg is really into Star Wars. I've decided that G-Dawg doesn't do anything half way. So when I say "into" Star Wars it means that he is a robe wearing, light saber carrying, boot sporter Jedi. The kicker was when he realized that Jedi have those hideous pony tails that go behind their ears and in the 80's I think that hair style was called a rat tail. Anyway, he noticed those and next thing I know he broke the string off of one of my ornaments and asked me to tape it on his face. He went to an Eagle Court of Honor like that last night. What must people think? I really don't want to know. That kid is a nutter and I love it.

L-Dawg is working on his verbal skills while he continues to make no move whatsoever to crawl or so much as scoot. What do you do? He is so smart but maybe not the next inducty into the crawlers of the month club. He says "Uh oh" so dang cute. In fact he is pretty dang cute period. My friend who is a PT (that's physical therapist) has informed me that L-Dawg is pear shaped and needs to work on his spaghetti arms. Somehow I don't think that will bode well with the chicks in the future. You've never heard a girl say about a guy he has this adorable pear shape. Anyway, her husband thinks we shouldn't talk and if she keeps up these assessments then maybe T-Dawg will declare the same thing. :) Something about our idea to buy houses next to eachother and get a realtor to give us a 2 for 1 deal was crazy. I guess L-Dawg needs to hit the baby gym and work on his quads. Are those in the legs...then I mean his pecks. Or whatever!

49 Things I am Grateful For...Nope Make that 50

In honor of Thanksgiving I made this list. It's in no particular order so don't get offended if you are near the end and if you didn't make the list this year try for next year! No, really I love you all.

* That my husband is my best friend

* That my kids make me laugh

* For my small house that can be cleaned top to bottom in a few hours

* Fall colors

* Winter sunsets

* Hymns that sometimes teach more doctrine to my heart that scriptures and talks

* Eternal Families

* Friends that make me take life less seriously

* My nieces and nephews

* My Grandma Humphries and what she has taught me about laughter, determination, and what it means to be a strong woman

* When Gage says, “I’m very sorry.”

* That I have a little junk in my trunk because it means I’ve never had to go hungry

* Animals

* That I had my kids in a hospital with drugs!!

* Air conditioning in the summer and Heating in the winter

* Luke’s giggle when I tickle under his chin

* The Crock-pot…hot food with little effort

* Snow covered mountains

* That I’ve always know the church was true

* The Book of Mormon

* The Internet…I can keep in touch with my loved ones and learn about anything I want

* Jane Austin books and movies

* That I know how to read

* My brothers and sisters and their wives/husband

* My Parents

* All Dad’s funny sayings that I hated growing up but make me feel like I’m home when I say them to my kids…”It’s colder than a tin toilet in an igloo!”

* That mom says, “Who the Gad knows?”

* That I can see Gage’s testimony growing

* The smell of new babies and kittens and puppies

* That I know there is something after this life

* Unanswered prayers

* That I’m an American

* That Tim comes home from work happy

* The excitement of Christmas Eve

* Priesthood blessings

* That I can run

* That I made this list

* That on paperwork I put Full-Time Mother under Occupation and Gage age 3 and Luke 10 months under Employer…I should add Tim age 30

* That I don’t need things to be happy

* That I have common sense

* That Tim laughs at my jokes

* The promise of Easter and the buds of spring

* That my boys love each other

* For my washing machine

* Long hot baths

* That Luke sleeps through the night

* My clothes…not the most trendy but it beats the alternative

* The super market

* That I have eyes that see, ears that hear, and a heart that can love

* And if you made it this far you are to be congratulated with my most shocking item. I'm thankful for my In-Laws. It means I have a husband right? No really I love them. Really! :)

Brothers....

I was so worried while I was pregnant that G-Dawg would be jealous and mean to L-Dawg. Trust me he has plenty of moments but for the most part these two are best friends. I love to hear their giggles from the backseat and I love that G-Dawg can hear L-Dawg crying before I do and will go get him up from his nap. L-Dawg now says "brother" in addition to "mom" and "dad". They are growing so quickly. G-Dawg asked in his prayer for Heavenly Father to protect us from Harmons. I think he meant harm but maybe grocery shopping is that scary. L-Dawg can seriously eat me under the table. Yesterday I think all we did was shovel food in his waiting mouth. P.S. I know that Halloween is over but I can't pry this Peter Pan costume out of G-Dawg's Kung Foo Grip so it he wears it all the time.

Ode to the World's Best Home Teacher

It has recently come to my attention that our buddy, the Bughunter, has nothing better to do at his high paying computer programming job than to read this entire blog. Yeah, that's right the whole thing. I guess that isn't much of a compliment considering he is interested in matrixes. We know him as Wes, our home teacher, the host of Tim's LAN Parties (in my ignorance I used to call these LAND parties...oops!) a brontosaurs, our choir director, and last but not least our friend. You however know him as the guy that can't read a map and chose the crappiest seats ever to Harry Potter. Go figure, he can program computers but is stumped by a map of a theater. But this title will never do because he is so much more. He is what Todd calls a man of action. When our hot water heater went kaput who do you think was over here at 9:00 at night bringing us water in his camping coolers and wore the ugliest coveralls ever to try and help T-Dawg fix it? I'll tell you who...the Bughunter who is ironically afraid of spiders, but this did not deter him from offering to go down into the spider's lair that is our crawl space. Perhaps his best attribute is his wife who not only helped carry the water but brought important ward gossip that brightened our mood. (two creepy people in our ward are getting married and are you ready for this they are 1st cousins!) As for the world's best home teacher part he never sits down to give the lesson which ensures him easy access to our door and a lesson that has never taken more than 30 seconds, not to mention that he always comes through in the clutch.

A Good Book

The last book I recommended on this blog was Harry Potter. Due to some recent goings on with old JK Rowling I'm not sure I'll be so quick to recommend books again. But there is one book I have been reading that I can recommend without any reservations. This week I have been reading The Price We Paid by Andrew Olsen. For those of you who know me well know that I am an avid reader and it is not often that a book changes me like this one has. The Price We Paid is about the Willie and Martin Handcart companies. The book is well thought out , well organized, and well researched. If you haven't read it I think you should....how 'bout them apples? If you do read it you will need at least a box and half of tissues if you've had children(only due to the hormones that still rage in your body after kids), and just one box if you haven't had kids. I cannot get over the faith, strength, and determination of these early saints. I have really let the spirit of murmuring into my life lately and there are great lessons to be learned from the way these saints approached adversity. As I have read I think if I had just buried my husband and 3 children in a shallow grave where an elder has to shoot wolves so that they won't eat their bodies during the funeral, could I, when it was over still praise God for the opportunity to come to Zion? Maybe you never know your strength until it is called into such serious question but I don't think I could've done it. My great great great Grandfather traveled with the Martin company and my heart swells with pride and gratitude when I read about him in this book. To think that his noble blood runs through my veins is so humbling and makes me want to make him proud in return. I need to do a lot better!

I couldn't help but think of the pioneers this weekend. We had a crappy weekend. Our water heater died on Friday night and you never know how much you miss your hot water until it is gone. When I washed my hair this morning in frigid water I thought of the handcart pioneers crossing rivers in the worst winter storms seen in the area. How women's hair froze to the tent and people's limbs froze until, like in the case of my Grandfather, the flesh literally fell off. We went up to Layton this weekend to visit some friends and we traveled the distance, in a warm car no less, in 30 minutes that took the saints a day and a half to travel pulling a handcart in the deep snow. We complained about the traffic and the saints were thankful if they got 4 ounces of flour and a smoky fire. When G-Dawg fell in the parking lot of Wendy's and his head made the sound that a carved pumpkin makes when thrown on the ground (you know you've done that) I knew a hospital with trained professionals was minutes away if he started acting funny. I can't imagine the hurt parents went through watching a child starve or freeze to death and being unable to save them. Anyway this post hasn't been as eloquent as I would have liked but it really comes from the heart that I think the pioneers were heroes in every sense of the way. Read the book! Roper and Todd you can spare me the line about only bearing your testimony about the scriptures...this book strengthened my testimony of the church and the tender mercies of the Savior and Heavenly Father.

From Krypton and Back Again

We had an eventful weekend. Yesterday, G-Dawg ran into our room telling us that he had made us some candy. You'd think that I would get used to G-Dawg's rude awakenings, but no, I still have a heart attack at 7am when G-Dawg yells in my face "I made you some candy!" The "candy" was pretty much every small toy he has stuffed into the back of Mr Potato Head. These small toys will become important in my tale later. So we got up, grudgingly, and went to the kitchen for breakfast while G-Dawg showed us the contents of Mr. Potato Head which really reminded me of Mary Poppins bag, it still gets me when I see her pull out that huge lamp. Anyway, a few minutes later G-Dawg has this expression of anguish on his face and says, "I'm choking on my kryptonite!" (see picture for reference) As we all know if you can talk you aren't choking but choking or not the kryptonite had just been swallowed and G-Dawg was crying and kept saying, "I want it back!" I called the pediatrician right away and he thought it could just go through (ouch if you ask me) but he told me to have G-Dawg drink something and see what happens. I gave him some milk and G-Dawg exclaimed, "Oh, the Kryptonite is coming back." When the pediatrician heard that he said he was afraid it was stuck and that we should go the hospital. When we got to Primary's the receptionist asked G-Dawg his name and he said matter-of-factly, "My name is Gage and I swallowed Superman's Kryptonite." As you can imagine he charmed most of the staff from there. The doctor that talked to us first was a 1st year resident and he was a guy we went to High School with and he lived in our old ward, you should know him Roper, Christian Neff. Anyway, he was examining G-Dawg and G-Dawg says so seriously, "What kind of Doctor are you?" He kept us laughing when he told his nurse that he was going to be Peter Pan for Halloween and when she asked if he could fly he said, "No, I need pixie dust to do that!" Later, as in hours, we found out, via an x-ray, that the Krypotnite had passed into the stomach and that all we can do is hope it comes out in the wash or toilet, whichever euphemism you prefer. They do digital x-rays now days so we were looking at it with the tech and you didn't need a degree to see the huge piece of kryptonite in the middle of the x-ray. The doctor told us that the radiologist called her and was asking what he was looking at on the x-ray and she told him Kryptonite and then he said, "oh, no wonder I was felling weak while I was reading it!" Really, the people at that hospital are wonderful and we are so glad it isn't more serious. G-Dawg hopes that the Kryptonite comes out red but I'm just hoping it comes out.

We also had our annual Halloween party at my parent's house. It was fun! My oldest sister is a big Pres Bush hater and she has a mask of him that she thinks is scarier than any other mask around. She was more than a little mad when G-Dawg put it on exclaiming that he (Pres Bush)
was, "a good guy!" Those of you who know her know this burned her up. Too funny. L-Dawg was a dog for Halloween and he looks so cute and he loves my parent's dog, Kaylee. (what kind of name is that anyway for a dog?)

Ding Dong the Program's Over

If there is a little extra spring in my step it is because the Primary Program is over!! I didn't even have to hide under the organ, as I threatened one friend I would do, before it was over. I was thrust into full panic mode yesterday when I went to the Saturday practice and more than half the kids were missing and the pianist suddenly acted like she had no idea what was going on and started playing all this extra stuff. Sure, it was pretty but really lady my leading skills are pretty limited. This coupled with what can only be described as vacant drug induced stares from everybody had me scrambling to copy the music for the teachers (equally if not more vacant than the kids...seriously kids stay in school) and making yet more props for the songs that we have been singing all freakin year. By Sunday morning I was frazzled and don't ask me how when I laid out all of the kids clothes (and T-Dawgs too! wink wink) packed both Sunday bags, and even shaved my legs the night before that we still barely made church in time. Thankfully, though I think the program went pretty well, even though most of the stares stayed the same and not once did the kids stand up together. T-Dawg kept me laughing because he keep waving L-Dawg's hand at me while I was on the stand and by the end of sacrament meeting L-Dawg had all but eaten T-Dawg's tie.

At lunch today G-Dawg asked his Dad why we were married.

T-Dawg said, "Because we love each other very much."
G-Dawg, "Why do you love each other?"
T-Dawg, "I love mom because she is so nice and pretty." (not two words I have ever used to describe myself...you big flatterer)
G-Dawg, "But why is so pretty?"
T-Dawg, "Because she has beautiful hair and face and pretty eyes."
Then G-Dawg looked at me sideways and I have suspected him to declare that none of this was true and then he said,
"and she has a great smile!"

Whoever said that motherhood doesn't have its rewards?

The Long and Winding Road to Nintendo Ownership

In the cupboard under our TV sits three Nintendos. The first I brought to the marriage, it is the original NES and in my humble opinion the best Nintendo. This is the very Nintendo my Dad bought for us kids when it came out in the 80's. Ownership was then transfered to my oldest brother and his kids. I spent some time with my Bro and his family in Massachusetts before I was married and then on a return visit with T-Dawg they gave the Nintendo to me as I have taken the most joy out of the games and kids these days just don't get the old school stuff. This is where a bit of controversy comes into play. My other brother (Roper) claims that this Nintendo was given to just him and that my mom had no right to give it to my other brother and that my claim on said Nintendo is nothing more than a gift from one thief to another. But since I shoved it in my carry-on and dragged it across the freakin country and lovingly taped one of the controllers back together I say it is mine. If love of the Nintendo was determined by how well one could play the games I would challenge Roper, anytime anyplace, to a game of Super Mario Bros 1, 2, or 3 and I'm sure things would land in my favor. Anyway, back to the three Nintendos next we have the Nintendo 64. This represents one of the lamest presents T-Dawg gave me while we were dating. Tell me why when it was a present for me that I sat for hours and watched T-Dawg play? Ahem. Finally we have the Nintendo Game Cube, a Christmas present for T-Dawg when I was preggers with G-Dawg. We have faithfully played all of these systems and I have to say my joy was complete. But T-Dawg, being the techo geek he is, longed for something more. He has wanted a Nintendo DS Lite for quite awhile. But if you review the history of all the previous Nintendos you will find that they represent luxuries one is afforded before you have 2 kids, (with huge appetite's might I add) a mortgage, and a stay at home wife. The Game Cube just barely made it since I was with child when we got it. With all our responsibilities we couldn't (really just me) justify buying one. So, T-Dawg has had to content himself with owning Nintendo Stock rather than the playthings they manufacture. Some of you may be thinking, didn't the stock cost a lot more than the dumb DS Lite? While that is true the stock has gained like 200% since we bought it and the DS Lite would just be worthless, never-mind that is my econ mind speaking. The point of this long drawn out analysis is that T-Dawg has not been daunted by my repeated refusal to buy a DS. He went out and found a way to get one for free. That's right free. He entered a contest to, "create your own crazy-cool image of Donkey Kong® at his climbing best and you could win your very own Nintendo DS™ Lite, plus a copy of the brand new DK Jungle Climber!" Well, what do you know he WON!!! I guess the thousands we spent on art school wasn't for nothing. Way to go T-Dawg!! Below is the winning image. I know T-Dawg would want full disclosure that 7 other people won too. I'm so proud that T-Dawg could beat out the competition of Jr High School kids armed with nothing more than makers and white paper! No seriously, there were lots of good entries but T-Dawg's was one of only a handful of original artwork and his was really a standout! Now if he could only find a way to win the Nintendo WII our collection would be complete save the Super NES, which was just a lame add on to the original.

Everything I missed in 6th grade.

I have often wondered if in, say 6th grade, all the girls got separated from the boys and were taught certain things. No not that meeting...that one I went to and fully understand. I think in this particular meeting they were taught how to cut paper in a straight line and how to make things pleasing to the eye and maybe how to apply eye liner, again in a straight line. I either was absent this day or I was daydreaming about my 6th grade crush John Upi. (He and I played footsies on my first kindergarten field trip and I harbored feelings for him all through elementary school. We had a brief "relationship" in 6th grade and then we were torn apart as he and I went to different junior high schools. His dad ran for the state senate and I think he won and I think by High School John was doing drugs so I'm glad it didn't work out) But I digress, about this meeting I missed, well it never affected my life. After all, I graduated from college got married and even had a pretty decent job but wham! then I became a mother and you are supposed to make these things called scrapbooks for your kids. This is when skills like cutting in a straight line come in handy and alas I can't do it. You think I'm kidding or you're thinking she just needs a slicer but I assure you I am not kidding and I have a slicer and my cuts are just as ski wampy as a 1st grader's with safety scissors. In fact, I think maybe a 1st grader could do better! I have asked my friend Jenn, who is a super scrapbooker, several times to teach a class that I would gladly attend, heck I'd even pay to attend, and I think that she thinks I'm just being complimentary. But if she saw my pitiful scrapbooks she would know that this is a code blue emergency. I don't even have the solace of blaming this on my mom because my sister can make scrapbooks and when she lived here I would con her into "helping" but that really meant just doing pages for G-Dawg's scrapbook. These are the best pages in G-Dawg's book. Then she moved and the pages that I did on my own practically shout at you "I suck" and then thankfully T-Dawg started helping me and those are better. But honestly I can already see the future and I'm not even clairvoyant. One day I will hand over these books, that have been such a struggle for me to make, to my two boys and they couldn't care less because they are men after all. Then they will marry perfectly normal women, who can cut in a straight line, and they will want their baby books and when they see them they will laugh out loud and ask their husbands if their mom does indeed have imposable thumbs or if I was kidnapped from the ape house at the zoo!

Onto the family update. This week G-Dawg discovered this new show on PBS called Super Why that he loves. I couldn't be happier because this show is about reading and letters and such and I think that since he can practically quote Peter Pan it was time to move onto something a bit more educational. He plans on being Peter Pan for Halloween and I'm worried since all this week he as been Super Wyatt with reading power (as seen in Super Why) that Peter Pan won't be cool by the time Halloween comes. The one good part about this whole Super Why thing is that I get to be Super Red (she looks like a edgy little red riding hood with roller skates and she has spelling power) I've never been a good speller so I'm channeling this character while I wear G-Dawg's red cape that slightly chokes me.

L-Dawg is a lover of all things paper. He is like a moth to flame burned by the fire (oh wait that's Madonna) He is drawn to it like a moth to the flame. To get paper he will do anything he has to do and then I'll find him happily chewing it to pieces. I always feel bad taking it away because he cries big tears when I do. He also discovered that I play guitar and I think he is on his road to becoming my biggest fan. So far he likes the upbeat tunes as opposed to the love ballads. It just struck me that maybe why he likes the guitar so much is because he has been munching on the my music?!


Conference weekend has been really good. The weather has been depressing so you really have no other activities to distract you from watching. I think the talks have been excellent. We had our traditional girls night at my sister's-in-law place while the men attended Priesthood. There was a bit of scene when G-Dawg and his youngest girl cousin, B-Dawg, were left alone upstairs too long. Let's just say that B-Dawg performed a small act of service for G-Dawg that involved the toilet and number 2 and her Lip Smackers. I laughed so hard I cried and to be honest I was really grossed out. They both had baths. The Lip Smacker is in the trash.

Much Ado About Nothing

I have a friend who recently sent me an email chain, you know the type, that included 10 things I didn't know about her. It got me thinking about myself. Sadly, I think that I keep hardly anything to myself and I had a difficult time thinking of 10 whole things that most people wouldn't know about me. So if your interested here it is.

1. I'm interested in politics. Not just who is running but maybe being on a city council one day when the chilluns are raised.
2. I can't add or subtract in my head. I've tried to learn it is totally hopeless!!
3. I must have gone to a crappy elementary school but I can't tell you the next letter in the alphabet unless I sing the song. When I had a filing job in High School this was a problem and the ABC's, in big bird voice no less, was running through my head all the time.
4. I've watched Days of our Lives since High School. I know I'm pathetic.
5. I can't sleep in the bed unless the covers are straight. I am obsessive about this and poor T-Dawg gets reprimanded a lot!!
6. I love to pretend Opera sing around the house. I've startled T-Dawg a few times with my volume. Maybe that is what is wrong with my throat...not the primary calling!!
7. I love old musicals but sometimes fast forward through the songs! I know that is weird but some of those MGM ones can go on for like 5 minutes and I can get the picture in 1 maybe 2 minutes. Singing in the Rain is my favorite.
8. I secretly love winter...especially air that is so cold it burns your lungs.
9. I cry at commercials and when T-Dawg or anyone else asks me if I'm crying I just tell him I have something in my contact. He falls for it every time...suker.
10. I love to daydream.

So there, you know a little bit, or probably more than you wanted to know, about me. I'm a weirdo for sure. I'm proudly flying my freak flag. Now for a Pudge and Co update. Since Roper Nation hasn't updated in over a month and he was the one who got me started on this password protecting my blog I have decided to drop this security feature. I will still refrain from using family names so Roper himself doesn't get upset, but I have had interest from a few people who want to read my blog but are unwilling to due so because they have to set up a password. And it isn't just my eldest brother so don't get mad at him. Anyway, I'll still link Roper Nation and Crazy Lives of the Northwest but if you haven't been invited to their blog you won't be able to view it.

Pudge in the Hood

I don't know if I mentioned in the post about our Neighborhood Block party that the Sheriff came and spoke to us about there being a drug problem in our neighborhood. After that I think poor T-Dawg has seen a drug dealer behind every bush and on every street in the hood here. He is like a man possessed when we are eating dinner, he faces the window to the street, if he sees a car that looks too nice for around here (which mostly applies to anything rust free and manufactured before 1980) he is up and out of his chair tracking where it goes and noting license plate numbers. He has really good eyesight which I think helps him a lot. He has even called the Sheriff once. He checks and double checks the kid's windows at night and will sometimes get out of bed to check the door locks. Mostly I thought this just meant he had OCD and was quaint behavior until this week when I heard on the news that we had an armed robbery one street over from us. It happened in the morning and the suspects were seen fleeing the area. Well T-Dawg walks to the bus stop around the same time but thankfully that morning he was running late and I drove him the train station. I mean, I always knew we lived in the hood and that you should cross the street on our walks to the library to avoid what I call "Skid Row". Oh yeah, and the registered sex offender in the back yard neighbor, but now I'm really starting to get freaked out. Do you think that if I started dressing G-Dawg and L-Dawg in baggy clothes and gold chains and taught them to say "yo yo" that would make them safer to play outside? Seriously, I'm starting to wonder when we moved to Watts. Well, if you see in pictures that we are dressed like a 50 cent music video you'll know why.

Onto a happier note. I saw Hairspray with mom, P-Dawg, and D-Dawg and it was really cute. It was a lot better than the cult classic Hairspray with Riki Lake. That one is just plain weird. The music is totally stuck in my head though and it is this one line about making out in cars. What does that say about me? Anyway it didn't help that D-Dawg has the soundtrack and was playing it in her van when I was tending her kids last week. Since I couldn't figure out how to eject it (new cars have so many buttons) I just listened to it every time I drove their van. Anyway, we had fun staying with their kids for a few days. Boy does it make me happy that kids come one at a time. Insta-mommy to four extra kids was challenging, but I really love the sound of a big family. Look out T-Dawg instead of just the 3 I said I wanted maybe I'll lobby for 6! That is an idle threat...if I have one more the size of the last two, I'll need crutches the rest of my life.

G-Dawg is loving Preschool. Miss Denise says he is, "very creative and a joy to be around." I was glowing when she said that! L-Dawg, however, is a total mess while he is gone. I didn't think it was possible for a baby so young to act depressed but he is. While G-Dawg is at school L-Dawg is all frowny faces and then when he sees his brother for the first time it is like sunshine on a winter day in the Northwest! They are too much fun. It has been confirmed that L-Dawg can say "mom ma" but only after a week of constant "Dad da". That is so unfair. While the Ohio people were here we went to This Is The Place State Park and did you know that the pioneers brought morning glory with them? What in the world were they thinking? Maybe the oxen wouldn't have had such a hard time if they would have thrown out that tin labeled "noxious weeds" on it. G-Dawg rode a horse for the first time. I'm not sure he dug it that much. I must be lonely because this is an unnecessarily long post.

Missing G-Dawg

G-Dawg started preschool this week. After all my fretting he did know how to go to the bathroom by himself, he did make friends, nothing happened to him, and he most certainly didn't miss me! I felt the sting of tears when I left, but I quickly told myself that that was stupid and that I should be excited for him to start the adventure of official learning! When we were getting ready to leave he said, "I think my baby Luke will miss me." Trust me I had to beat back the tears when I said, "I think I'll miss you too." He said, "But that's OK I'll come back." Things are so simple to a child. Adults make it too hard. I'd love to share the pictures of his first day but T-Dawg threw away the Hewlett Packard CD, by accident of course, that lets us upload the pictures. This wouldn't be a problem except that he reformatted the hard drive and now we need it. Hey, T-Dawg if you're reading, this is a thinly veiled harp to get you to fix it as soon as you can. Come on, your computer geek, I know you can do it!!

So, since I don't have any other pictures to share I have decided to share one of my pregnancy photos. On my last post I requested that the out of state-ers put pictures of there massive bellies. One has a problem with this. It will come as a surprise to most that the woman who had no problem with C-Dawg filming Bee's birth and showing it to his film class has a problem with posting a few pictures of her pregnant belly. Yeah, that's right, the same girl who gave half the neighborhood a peep show in our front yard wading pool. Anyway, as a piece of bribery I have put up this photo of myself a mere week before L-Dawg was born. I think I look great. As in a great big whale! But seriously, if I can share this you can share too. You can even see my stretch marks. Who cares? It is the miracle of life after all.

Capes and Congregation

Okay, so I'm one closer to accomplishing my "I'm not boring list". I went water skiing last weekend and while I will admit I didn't exactly rock it, I did get up and stay up on my first try. G-dawg loved being on the boat and he thought I was one cool Mama when I got up on the ski's. I was so inspired that I've been making my case to T-dawg for getting a boat. So far, I think it is falling on deaf ears.

G-dawg continues to be into swords and knights. His Grandma made him a cool cape that he has recently sported grocery shopping and to a scout breakfast this morning. Adults find it really cute so I don't care that my kid is wearing lightening McQueen P.J.'s, a green belt, and red cape in public! You're only a kid once. So, I got the packet of info from G-dawg's preschool this week and it really sent me into crisis mode. How can he be this old, what if something happens when I'm not there, am I sure he knows how to go the bathroom himself, will the other kids like him, will he miss me, is it okay that he is missing his nap twice a week? These and other thoughts have been plaguing me all week. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm sure I will dissolve into tears as soon as I drop him off for the first time. What a wuss I am!

L-dawg, I'm afraid, is growing up just as fast as his brother. Did someone hit the fast forward button because honestly time is flying. L-dawg cut his first tooth, can sit up on his own, and may or may not have said "mama" twice. (this has yet to be confirmed by someone other than me so it is fiffy at this point) Maybe he just seems older since he is already wearing 18 month clothes. He is a serious horse. Pretty cute though if I do say so myself.

Last night we went to a neighborhood party. Our ward pays for it but they invite everyone in our ward boundaries. We happen to have a Presbyterian church in our boundaries so they invited their pastor and she said the opening prayer. It was awesome! I've never heard so many, "Praise the Lord's" and "Bless you Jesus." Later she and some others from her congregation sang some African gospel music. It was beautiful, but I couldn't help but notice that the Elder's made a timely exit at this point. It is unclear to me whether they needed to get home for curfew or if the competition was just giving them a run for their money! After they were done I went over to tell them how much I enjoyed their singing and they invited me to their service. I noted how friendly and open they are about their religion and I think LDS people could take a page from their book. So many times, myself included, LDS people hide their religion, "so as not to offend" or "put people off". I firmly believe if we just starting shouting, "Praise the Lord!" it might take the edge off. Just a thought.

P.S. Those women in the family who are in the family way. (you know who you are) I think your husbands should start taking monthly photos of your girth so we can watch the progress. Once you get closer, weekly photos wouldn't be too much to ask!

T-Dawg's Dark Side : A New Hope

This weekend T-Dawg and the fam went to Evanston with Tim's family. I never would have thought that being around his family could crack into the hard facade that is cool and collected T-Dawg. Man was I wrong and it has to said that when T-Dawg finally breaks it is...awwesome! T-Dawg went totally WWF on his sister. I was out on the porch with G-Dawg and I could hear her yelling (she later called it raising her voice but come on a spade's a spade) at someone and next thing I know I hear T-Dawg yelling back in this voice that I didn't even know he had. This is the first time in 6 years of marriage I have ever heard T-Dawg so much as raise his voice. I stayed on the porch like the coward I am while those two went at it. Then she started crying and it was worse than Days of our Lives.

Anyway, the setting was beautiful and the cabins nice. We had three cabins in total and everyone has hanging out at the main one when we got there. T-Dawg's mom told me that our cabin was the farthest out and that I should drive down this dirt road to a gate and then I would see our cabin. Now let me ask you if you saw say a chain between two trees with a piece of wood in the center would you think that qualifies as a "gate" or would you drive a short distance farther to a green rod iron gate with a lock. Well I didn't think that the chain thing qualified so I went the other way (I was by myself with Luke) and I drove for seriously 10 minutes without running into anything except deer and horses. The sun was starting to go down and I was getting nervous. Then I came to this big ridge and I thought man these cabins are far apart and I'm not even sure that my Nissan can climb that sucker. But I prevailed only to find that at the top I could see the whole valley and there was not a cabin in site. Then I was kinda stuck because the path was so narrow that I couldn't turn the car around and there was a drop off on either side. So I backed it up real nice like and after killing some sagebrush and nearly getting high centered I made it back just before nightfall only to discover that a chain is apparently a gate and I went the wrong way. But, never doubt the power of prayer because I pasted on a smile and went to the s'more roast with no one the wiser that I just trespassed on some cattle rancher's land and nearly plummeted to my death. Glad to be home.

Pucker up Potter!

Since my last post a few things have happened. Firstly, T-Dawg left his twenties forever and is getting a gut. Just kidding T-Dawg you are still as svelte as the day we married! For T-Dawg's birthday we took the kids, via Trax, downtown to Iggy's and had dinner. It made me so thankful we don't live in NYC and have to rely on public transit all the time. G-Dawg had a blast and was so excited when he saw the bum that was sleeping on our way to Iggy's had gotten up on our way back. (slightly embarassing when he yelled, "Look Dad that guy got up!") I guess all kids are destined to embarrass their parents. Never have I been more embarrassed as yesterday when we were outside talking to our neighbor who looks like a gremlin and is seriously like 3 1/2 feet tall. G-Dawg suddenly and for no reason whatsoever went over and gave her a kiss. Well that wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't so dang short, but as it was the kiss landed on her breast and when he stepped back he said proudly, "I kissed Edna on her nipple." I hightailed it outta there as fast as I could and left T-Dawg to fix things. I think I may still be blushing. Of all the people he had to say that to he chooses our weirdo neighbor who doesn't have kids and probably doesn't know kids are weird.

More importantly this week T-Dawg and I read Harry Potter! We bought two copies and read together, and it was fun. I'm sad it is over but to my relief I won't have to go postal on JK Rowling as she spelled out Snape's affiliation. Sorry we missed you C-Dawg at T& D's. I heard you had some good theories. What did you think of the book? I thought it was overall pretty good but I did feel like parts were rushed and a bit sloppy. I felt like some of the details didn't gel with the other books. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.

Lastly, yesterday T-Dawg and I took G-Dawg hiking to Hidden Lake in Alta. We were going to take L-Dawg but decided he might get sunburned. G-Dawg walked the entire hike. Even the pretty steep part at the end. All the other hikers we passed were telling him how brave and cool he was...he loved it of course. We saw a fox and three moose, not to mention all the fat squirrels that were running about. All the wildflowers are out up there and the flora was beautiful. I loved hiking since I haven't been for awhile and N-Dawg will be pleased to hear that I didn't sit down in the middle of the trail once.

Dawg's and Dogs

Sorry I've been neglecting Pudge and Co. but I have a good excuse. Right after we had the funeral for the Subaru we had another family member pass away...our computer monitor. I think it caught on fire. Anyway we just got the new one today and it is a sweet flat panel. I've missed checking email and reading the blogs. So the last week or so has been pretty fun. We went and saw Transformers with a group of friends from the ward and to be honest this movie is more that meets the eye! I was really surprised but I really dug it. It brought back good memories of watching the cartoon with N-Dawg before school. If you haven't seen it go. It would be a perfect guy's night out for you N-Dawg if you can pry your friends out of their wives death grip. Onto more important movies though. We went and saw Harry Potter and the Order on Monday and to be honest I really didn't like it. We saw it in the IMAX and our friend who got the tickets was confused when he ordered them (they are reserved seating) and thought we were three rows from the back when we were really three rows from the front!! I had a neck ache and the guy in front of me had terrible B.O. (at least I think it was him because I smelled T-Dawg and the friend next to me and they smelled alright) All these factors really messed up my viewing experience so I'm not sure if the movie was bad or if I was just not in the right frame of mind. The last 20 minutes were in 3D and that was pretty cool. The fifth book is really my favorite and I think they just cut too much and changed what they left in. Anyway, I can't wait for the next book. I'm somewhat obsessed with how it will end. Thankfully I have a friend who loves to talk about it with me and we talked a lot today so I won't bore you with my theories. Contact me with any of your own theories. This really only applies to C-Dawg because I don't think Roper Nation reads the books. All I know is if she doesn't spell out in explicit terms whether Snape is good or evil I might might go postal on her.

This week T-Dawg's brother moved to Texas and they have two chocolate Labs that they couldn't take with them until their house down there is build so we are watching them. They are two of the dumbest dogs you ever saw and fat too. We took them for a walk and by the end they practically needed to be carried. They are fun but G-Dawg is somewhat freaked by them. G-Dawg has been loving the Book of Mormon lately. He wants to read from it all day and like most things he absorbs it all. He is mostly interested in the parts with swords or where Nephi gets rocked by his older brothers. I find it a little disturbing but I know it is most likely normal boy stuff. He got a sword for his birthday and I've been wacked a few times in the fanny and G-Dawg will say that I'm Laban so it's okay! Lately when he doesn't want to do something he tells me he can be courageous like Nephi and he can, "save the day." He loves the song Nephi's Courage and we have listened to it so many times in the car that he knows all the verses and I don't think I can't stand it one more time! L-Dawg weighs 19 pounds and is one of the happiest little chunks I've ever seen. He rarely cries unless he is hungry and he mostly just smiles all the time. He loves G-Dawg and always makes a grab for his toys instead of the baby toys. Thankfully G-Dawg is good with him and they have the best conversations in the car. Sorry this was long but I'm half Humphries after all and I like to talk.

Blue Subaru: A Requiem

Today has been one of those days where I'm not sure me or G-Dawg would live to see his nap. But alas he is in bed, not asleep, but we are both alive so I consider today a success. Anyone who has raised a three year old knows what I mean. This week has been fun. G-Dawg turned three and it was fun to see him really excited about his birthday and knowing what is going on. We really spoiled him with Cars toys and when it was over I said, "that was fun, but never again." Sometimes less is more. Wednesday was the 4th which always leaves me with mixed feelings. To me it seems like once the 4th is over that the summer just goes down hill from there and summer is over before you know it. I think this thought process goes back to school and not looking forward to the school year starting. I guess it just stuck with me the same way that fall makes me excited for sharpened pencils and new notebooks. I love the fall...it always feels like a new beginning. Anyway, we just stuck around home for the 4th and it was really relaxing. Onto some news of the sad sort. Our blue Subaru has gone the way of the buffalo this week. The Subaru has given all it can give and now it is going to that beautiful place in the sky. (carmax) T-Dawg bought the Subaru from N-Dawg right before we got married and in the immortal words of Dad, "that car don't owe us a dime!" We knew we couldn't cover our eyes and ears to all the pings, knocks, shimmies, and even smoke forever. The straw that broke the camel's back was when T-Dawg pulled out the seat belt and in red letters a tag had become exposed that said, "REPLACE SEATBELT". It needs new tires, cv joints, and the car, like all things old, is shrinking in on itself. They don't make Depends for cars so the oil and power steering fluid is all over. Do think that is embarrassing for a car especially in front of the "younger models"? We aren't replacing it so the whole family loads up early in the morning to take T-Dawg to the Trax station. It really isn't that bad to be a one care family and I read somewhere that, "No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse." This is our new family mantra, I think I might embroider it on a pillow. T-Dawg is happy about it because he feels it is his civic duty, no maybe personal quest, to conserve fuel and stick it to the oil companies. Nothing gets T-Dawg more fired up (I know it is hard to imagine) then seeing someone drive an SUV unnecessarily. (Sorry Dad...you don't read this anyway...we love you)
Public Transit here we come! N-Dawg suggested that T-Dawg could blog about all the crazies on the bus...that might be interesting?

Welcome!

So it's official. If I saw my older brother jump off a bridge I would do it too. Once the Crazy Lives of the Northwest was started I decided that I couldn't leave all the fun to those living out of state. So this will be the Beehive chapter. My warning is that I lead a very boring existence, so my posts are likely to be boring as well. I welcome and expect lots of comments! When I was trying to think of a name for my blog I was reminded that my nickname was pudge growing up and when I looked through mine and T Dawg's baby pictures it became all too apparent that the apples haven't fallen far from the tree. So I hope you enjoy the pics and our blog.