He Did It Again

First he became a Sunbeam and then he went and turned four on me. When will this heartbreak end? It is so hard to imagine that four years have passed since I met my special little boy Luke. His entrance into this world is much like his life. He is calm, easy going, and naturally happy. I was so worried after he was born because he didn't cry and that is just how Luke is....he just doesn't cause much of a stir about anything. The thing I love most is that he is still really attached to me. He loves to be anywhere I am....hopefully sitting on my lap. He is generous with his hugs and compliments and I eat it up.



I had planned on having a friend Birthday party for him this year but every time I asked about what kind of party he would like and who he wanted to come he would just say he wanted me and Gage there....and Dad and Claire. Sounded good to me so that was what we did. We aren't a cake family so I arranged some doughnuts on a plate and he blew out the candles, opened a few gifts and he thought he had life by the string. My sister Rachel is here for a time, to be with my mom while she has been in the hospital, and her littlest one, Piper, thinks Luke is pretty special so they ran up and down the hall for an hour straight. I think the best part of Luke's birthday was getting to eat a big vitamin instead of one broken in half. It was all he spoke about for a solid 6 months and he was so proud when he got to take a big one like Gage.

Luke, I love more that Scooby does his Scooby snacks. Thanks for coming to our family.

Sunbeam

Somehow it happened when I wasn't looking, but this kid...right here

became a sunbeam on Sunday. What the crap? Wasn't he just born...at the very least just starting to walk. Did they lower the age of Sunbeams because surely my Lukey is not primary age.

Luke wasn't all that excited for Primary. I think he liked being a big fish in the small pond of Nursery and he knew to jump ship was to become the littlest gold fish in the entire ocean. Gage, as per usual, was thrilled that Luke would be joining him in Primary. He told me that he could take him....I didn't need to come....he knew where he was supposed to sit and he needed no help. In a small voice I asked if it was ok for me to at least, say, follow behind them so I could see too? Gage said that was fine as long as he and Luke didn't see me....or hear me. Sheesh.

So I obediently stood at the door while Gage showed him where to sit and pointed out that Luke's favorite buddy, Marianne, was already sitting down. It was tender really. It reminded me of when I looked out the window when Gage was about 4 and Luke not yet two and Gage told him how cold it was outside and zipped up his jacket for him. I had to intervene when it became clear that Luke wanted to sit with Gage and not his new class. Special Brothers for sure. I heard later that Luke was very well behaved during sharing time as well as class and that made me feel good. What to do with these empty arms?

New Year Moments

I'm not big on the whole New Year's Eve thing. We don't drink and we aren't crazy out-going so I feel like it is a holiday that leaves us behind. We never have plans and we wear our loser badge with pride. We used to go out before we had kids and that was fun, but once Gage was born it seemed more important for him to sleep then for us to go out and get hit by a drunk driver. That year Tim and I started "Snack Fest 2004" and stayed at home and played the Nintendo. We have had a Snack Fest ever since and this year we kept the boys up to enjoy it with us. We rented The Last Air Bender, which by the way has to be the worst movie ever filmed, and stayed up late to watch it. I should say the boys in the family did because I was out on the couch at 10 pm.

Earlier in the evening I had so many moments where I just felt content with my little family around me. I get these moments from time to time doing various things and I always feel frozen by my awe at what I see around me and I have this internal camera that captures all of it. I never grab my real camera because the moment seems so fragile that if I move too quickly or make too much noise I'm afraid it will blur like a rain drop hitting a puddle. Do you have those moments?

On New Year's Eve I just let the feelings of love, inspiration, and contentment wash over me....

The boys chasing Claire down the hall and watching how fast her chubby legs having gotten and listening to her squeal of delight. Luke, face screwed up, hands on hips and him stuttering to tell me something that is so important to him that his mind is moving faster than his mouth. Tim and I dancing to techno music to make the kids laugh and hearing Gage's belly laugh. Watching Gage's "I have a broken leg and a possible shoulder dislocation and I'm swinging it like this" dance.

...and I felt for just a few moments, glimpses here and there, of heaven.

Happy New Year!

Christmas 2010...A Short Recap

Christmas 2010 was a really good one. In an awesome display of rare organization I was done with my shopping a whole week and half before Christmas and it was amazing how much it affected me feeling the Christmas Spirit. I also got really good at saying no this Christmas season. I really went over my gift list and just crossed people off...no guilt...just got the blue sharpie and said Adios to Gage's teacher and my husbands Home Teaching Families. It was quite liberating.

I really don't know if it was that or if I'm getting more mature, as my grey hair will attest, but I just felt Joy and Peace this Christmas season. I thought a lot about the baby Jesus and it just made me happy. I felt like I was hearing the music for the first time and seeing the lights for the first time and I really immersed myself in the excitement and anticipation of my kids.


Tim took a few days off before Christmas and the entire week after Christmas. It was some really good bonding time for all of us. I didn't even get sick of him. It was truly unprecedented. The kids opened their Christmas Eve PJ's and stayed in them until Sunday afternoon for church...so did I...truth be told. Tim actually remembered to buy me some this year and they actually fit....go Tim!

It was interesting to see what happened on Christmas Day. Tim and the boys took over the kitchen table with mounds of Lego's and Claire and I hung out in the living room playing with her doll and kitchen. It was nice to have girly things to look at and exclaim over and play with. Tim has had far too much fun for the last 6 years!