Little OLD Me

Today I'm sitting on the wrong side of 30. This week I will turn 31. What is this world coming to? I remember when I was a young woman and I thought 30 was ancient. What was the point of living at 30? Now I am 3o...ahem 31 and I still feel so young and stupid for lack of a better word and then I got my new calling to work with the Young Women and that makes me feel stupid and old and young all at the same time. When we go to activities I have to mentally shake myself that I'm not a Young Woman anymore....I'm a leader who sits on the boat while the girls have fun. It was just not that long ago. So weird.

Moments that make me feel young are when I go out in public with my kids and people openly stare and say things like, "All of these kids are yours....you look too young." Those are the good moments. Or like the older moms over at the school who have one child and they had that child at like 40 and they look at me like snakes are coming out of my ears when they see me show up for school with Claire on my hip, Luke holding my right hand and Gage leading the way.

Then there are moments that make me feel oh so old. Since working with the Young Women I've tried to start listening to their music. They listen to hip hop. Is that what it is called? I'm a guitar girl. I like anything that has a guitar in it, preferably acoustic guitar. That includes folk, classic rock, (that means the 60's and 70's people.....think Led Zeppelin) sometimes country, alternative. (I'm a child of the 90's...Long live Kurt Cobain...need I say more?) Stuff with a synthesizer...not for me. Rap? I always think it's trashy because in my Jr. High the kids that liked rap went to Granite High (eek) the kids that liked alternative went to Olympus High. (cool) I want the YW to think I'm cool so I started listening to 107.9FM. I can dig a lot of what I hear. I even like M & M. But I felt so freaking old when I was listening to this station in the swagger wagon and I suddenly pulled over because I thought an emergency vehicle was behind me only to find out that it was just a random siren in the song. How old and backward is that? My cheeks are burning just thinking about it.

Then there are the girls who inform you so bluntly that Mini-Vans are so lame and that she will never be caught dead driving one. I just smile and think, "Yeah, I said the same thing. Granted not so rudely to my leaders face, but take a good look at me now girly!"

A few weeks ago I got together with some friends from my old neighborhood. Blessed event by the way. Some of the girls that still live in the old hood were telling us the goings on and they mentioned all the new young families that are moving in, and I thought, wait we are the young families. But they meant the young families who have been married for like 3 years and just had their first child. Oh, that's not us anymore. They were commenting that the young families aren't interested in hanging out with them because the are too old with their elementary aged children. I took total offense on their behalf until they reminded me of the Postma's. The Postmas were a totally normal and cute family that lived in the ward when I moved in with just Gage and 4 years of marriage under my belt and I didn't want to hang out with them either because she had a 2nd grader and kindergartener. Well you know what they say about Karma? Well....they say it isn't good! Old.

A moment that is old but in a good way is getting to say Mrs. Entering the elementary world is entering the Mrs. and Mr. world. Every time I say Mrs. Wright I feel like a four year old wearing her mothers heels and long peal necklace with a smudge of lipstick on her face. But I love it at the same time. I love signing notes as Mrs. Wright. Instead of my causal Jess. Gage was slated to be in a 1st and 2nd grade split this year and when I met his teacher and the other students I just knew it wasn't for him. So, on the day before school officially started I called up the principal ready for battle. I loved the power that came from saying, "This is Mrs. Wright and I have a problem with my child's class!" I'm sure I owe it all to the usage of Mrs. that she consented to have him moved into another class at such a late hour. Heeehee.

Here is the last picture to be taken of me as a 30 year old. Yes, I took it myself because I was too embarassed to ask Tim. Yes, my eyes are red because I got Claire's 6:30am wake up call. Yes that is a pimple on my upper lip. I guess I'm not as old as I thought.

Wheels...

My kids seems to master their physical bodies slower than other children. It's either that or my friend's kids master their bodies early. Dylan crawling at like 4 months and Mason riding a two-wheeler at 3 comes to mind. I try not to compare my kids to other kids, but I worry. Because I excel at worrying. But one nice thing about worrying about your kids milestones is that they eventually happen and then I get this burst of, "Yay, that's what I'm talking about."

We had a few of those moments this week. On my goals for summer I put Gage learning to ride a two-wheeler and Luke learning to ride his tricycle at the top of the list. This summer has been hectic to say the least and it just hasn't happened. Luke could pedal pretty well but steering seemed to elude him. Gage was resistant to taking the training wheels off. Well, two days before school started Tim took the training wheels off and frankly Gage seemed a hopeless case. Luke kept saying, "I don't want to ride my bike." Insert whining voice. I got so frustrated and I said to to Tim, "Why don't our children like to do the things other children seem to love?" My neighbor told me to take him to the church parking lot and so I did. It went ok. Luke didn't really need to steer and he mostly just had fun letting Claire push him on his bike. Gage seemed to have no balance at all. He got it for a few seconds before a huge storm came up and we had to abandon ship.

The next day was the night before school started and Family Home Evening. I suggested we go to the church again to practice. I feel like the whole running behind the bike is the Dad's job and Tim was up to the task. We had been at the church for literally 20 seconds and I can see Gage is getting close. I forgot the camera of course. I went home to grab it and when I pulled into the parking lot I have never seen such a look of fatherly pride on Tim's face. He looked seconds away from pounding his chest and pointing at Gage and saying, "Look! Look what I have created." I'll be danged if Gage wasn't riding all around by himself. He was so excited to show me. You'd think I'd learn that this is how Gage operates. He doesn't do something until I'm sure the kid is delayed and then boom one day he just sets his mind to it and he does it. Crawling, walking, swimming, going down the slide, the scooter....it's all been like that.

We had a double header that night because Luke suddenly decided that riding a bike was pretty fun and steering: no big deal. He was zooming all around singing songs from Cars one minute and making bat-mobile noises the next.

See? All that worrying for nothing. It was a great way to officially end our summer and accomplish one last goal.

Confessions of a 1st Graders Mom and Brother

Well, we have officially survived Gage's first week of 1st grade. As you can tell Gage is just thrilled to have his picture taken to document the first day. I know other people have all day Kindergarten so I guess I should just count myself lucky that I got to put off this inevitability for one extra year.

Confession # 1: I cried every day I dropped him off.

Confession # 2: I have really enjoyed the quiet while Luke and Claire both took naps and I love the routine.

Confession # 3: I look at his schedule multiple times a day to figure out what he is doing.

Confession # 4: I have written him a love note on his napkin everyday and he loves it and I love that he loves it.

Confession # 5: When his eyes fill up with tears and he says he is going to miss me as he is getting out of the car; it is all I can do to smile and not whisk him away and not let him see me cry.

Confession # 6: I can see him changing with each day and I'm equal parts excited and sad.

Confession # 7: I get excited each time it is time to go pick him up.

Confession # 8: I know he loves school and is so ready to learn that I will not let one mist of tears cover my eyes next week!

Since Luke can't make his confessions I will have to make him for him....

Confession # 1: Luke absolutely loved not having to compete with his brother on the first day of school. He ate it up.

Confession # 2: Luke loves that Gage isn't around to watch his toys so he gets to play with them.

Confession # 3: Luke loves that now he can pester the living crap out of his little sister.

Confession # 4: Luke loves being the "big brother" for 7 hours a day.

Confession # 5: All the previous confessions wore out their welcome by the second day and he misses his brother dearly.

Watching the boys' reunion each day really warms my heart. They are so excited to play together that they don't fight at all. Luke says multiple times a day, "I wonder what my Gagey is doing at school right now?" The first trip we took sans Gage I said, "Ok, Guys lets get out of the car." Luke took deep offense at this and informed me I am not to say guys any more because Gagey is at school. By the third day, Luke's little mournful voice came from the back seat, "I really wish I could go to school with Gage."

Gage is in love with 1st grade. He loves being with his peers. He loves learning. He loves having two recesses a day and that he gets to eat lunch at school. I love hearing stories from his day that make me proud of him. Today he told me he shared his "sneaky snack" with his friend because he didn't have one. He hopes I don't mind. By the way, a sneaky snack is a snack they encourage the kids to eat at their first recess so they won't get too hungry before lunch.

On the first day he told me about his friend Joel, who he knew from Kindergarten, who was crying because he missed his mom. I asked what the teacher did and Gage said Joel was hiding it from his teacher so Gage went to Joel and asked him if he went to church. Well Joel doesn't go to church and Gage was going to suggest that he pray, "but since he didn't know how I did it for him and he stopped crying!" Such is the faith of Gage. That kid says 1 million prayers a day and they all seem to be answered just how he wants.

Luke and I? We think he is one special 1st grader.

Walking About

I know I chose a way weird picture to post about Claire's walking but it is impossible to get a picture of that girl while she is walking. She is so fast and the instant she sees the camera she gives her fake smile and says, "Cheese." I've been trying to get a video of that because it is adorable but I have been unsuccessful. This picture does however show case my pride that her hair is now long enough to fit into bows and side ponies. I love it! I love doing her hair and how she just sits there and lets me and looks at me so innocently when I'm done as if to say, "How do I look?" I love seeing her short pudgy arm reach up to feel the bow and hearing her say "priddy." Ok, I'm realizing I'm having an ADD moment. Sorry.

Yesterday, Claire got up the never to let go of the furniture and walk! I love the drunken toddler walk. She is so proud of herself. She still holds on quite a bit as she is head heavy but when she is comfortable with the surroundings, like at home, she is a walker! And I thought she'd never walk.

Saving Grace

As per my last post I'm so sad my kids are starting school but my saving grace is that the very same week one of my favorite books is coming out. If you were here...you would see me wiggling in my chair and squealing like an 11 year old girl. I have to be honest and tell you I'm a little nervous for this book. I think it is so easy to screw up the last book in a series. I liked Catching Fire but I found it to be a bit samey and I'm really hoping she can keep it together for this last book. It is strange to have a book that I'm looking forward to, but also Tim, my brother Nate, my sister Pam (if you know me and my siblings you will find this very odd indeed), and our friend Wes. Not to mention a host of my other friends. I just picked out the oddest combination to highlight that you can't predict who will like this book. Ahh, I really can't wait.

That Nuerotic Time Of Year

I promise to keep this year's neurosis, about losing my kids to school, to a minimum. I registered Gage for first grade today and Luke's preschool teacher came to our house to meet him. Miss Chris was adorable by the way and she totally caught Luke's interest with the sea shells she brought. His interest in attending school went from a 1 to 5 on a scale of 10. Gage told Tim that he thought Miss Chris was much nicer than his kindergarten teacher and that he wished Miss Chris was his teacher. Should a be a good year for Luke. It is just so hard to believe that my Gage will be gone ALL day in a few weeks and that Luke will leave the nest for 6 hours a week. I feel like I just got used to taking care of all three kids and now they are leaving me. It fills me sadness and yet I'm excited about going grocery shopping with just one or possibly two kids. I'm excited for the new art projects and for the wonder of watching my child grow and learn. When Gage leaves me a note and I can read it I just stare in wonder that he can do it and I'm in danger of turning into a pack rat thinking how precious it is and wanting to keep it. Each time Luke remembers a letter or sings his ABC's I want to record it in my memory and think about how 4 short years ago he was just a blob of cells with a heart beat. I'm consoling myself that Luke will only be gone for 6 short hours a week and will still mostly be mine and that I "lost" Gage to the public school system last year. I'm not feeling as neurotic as last year but I'm also not riding the postpartum hormones this year either.

Gage Fought The Fridge...

And the....Fridge Won!

I don't know if you can tell from this picture but Gage's face is hamburger after he tripped on air and face planted on the side of our refrigerator. He had an awesome black eye and his face was multicolored for a long time. My nieces are visiting from Portland and they got a big kick out of me singing, "Gage fought the fridge and the fridge won!" To the tune of the song, I Fought the Law. Poor Grandma Burt was here visiting on her first outing after her radiation and she was the only and first witness to the battle of the fridge. I felt so bad that she was trying to take care of Gage while she was feeling so poorly.