Tim played soccer as a kid and a little bit in High School and I think he was excited for his boys to learn to play and love the sport as well. For me, I am the very definition of clumsy and non-athletic and I was not involved in any sports growing up. Unless you count my brief stint in Church basketball which I swiftly gave up as soon as I could!
Tim and I agreed that sports are important for boys and so we've had the boys play on a few teams each. Gage declared at 6, when he took a hard ball to his stomach, that he would never play soccer again and he hasn't. Each new season I have encouraged him to try it again because I was worried that he was opting not to play out of fear. Well, in August, about 4 days before the soccer season was to begin he suddenly decided he wanted to play again. I was shocked but scrambled to get him on a team. He didn't know any of the other players but the season has been going ok. He seems to enjoy it but he doesn't live for it and he lacks the killer competitive instinct. The games tend to be very heated with a lot of yelling from coaches and parents and a lot of pushing and tripping from kids. I sit there each week thinking I've wandered into the Twilight Zone where everyone but me thinks these kids are 20 years old and playing on a professional team.
I was at the end of my rope when our coach started yelling at the refs (who are at least 16 but look like they are 13....clearly children themselves) for a bad call and yelled out Bull **IT right in front of me and my small children. How in the world can adults think that is appropriate? Way to go Super Coach. If that 16 year old ref was your kid would you want some mouthy coach of 3rd GRADERS yelling swear words at him? Where is your humanity man?
After the game was over and we were packing up I overheard the team goalie's family talking (They made no attempt to be discreet, in fact the opposite is true) about how bad our team was and they were calling out by jersey numbers the only kids that had any "hustle" and talent. Only 3 members of our team of 10 made their prestigious list. Of course, Gage was not on the list, which is fine I'm under not dilusion that he will be a professional soccer player, but I felt like telling him that Gage is the bravest player out there. He has had to overcome fear to participate in something that does not come easily for him. He came to this established team not knowing one soul and he has been humiliated and yelled at and is walking off this field with his integrity and strength of character. Yes, he may not have "hustle" or natural soccer talent but in my book I'd take his kindness and intelligence any day of the week.
People say that sports builds character. If the character that is built is cruelty, yelling swear words at kids, humiliating others to prop up your own inflated sense of self, and a complete break with your sense of reality then I think I'll opt out. I realized on Saturday I'm really not cut out to be a soccer mom and I also found out a valuable thing....I don't really care to be one.
**I wish I wasn't so sensitive. Why does it hurt me so bad to think about people being unkind to anyone....let alone my boy? Am I screwing my boys up? Why did I bother to teach them to be kind in the first place when it will be trampled on the rest of their lives? Bleh**
