Everything I missed in 6th grade.

I have often wondered if in, say 6th grade, all the girls got separated from the boys and were taught certain things. No not that meeting...that one I went to and fully understand. I think in this particular meeting they were taught how to cut paper in a straight line and how to make things pleasing to the eye and maybe how to apply eye liner, again in a straight line. I either was absent this day or I was daydreaming about my 6th grade crush John Upi. (He and I played footsies on my first kindergarten field trip and I harbored feelings for him all through elementary school. We had a brief "relationship" in 6th grade and then we were torn apart as he and I went to different junior high schools. His dad ran for the state senate and I think he won and I think by High School John was doing drugs so I'm glad it didn't work out) But I digress, about this meeting I missed, well it never affected my life. After all, I graduated from college got married and even had a pretty decent job but wham! then I became a mother and you are supposed to make these things called scrapbooks for your kids. This is when skills like cutting in a straight line come in handy and alas I can't do it. You think I'm kidding or you're thinking she just needs a slicer but I assure you I am not kidding and I have a slicer and my cuts are just as ski wampy as a 1st grader's with safety scissors. In fact, I think maybe a 1st grader could do better! I have asked my friend Jenn, who is a super scrapbooker, several times to teach a class that I would gladly attend, heck I'd even pay to attend, and I think that she thinks I'm just being complimentary. But if she saw my pitiful scrapbooks she would know that this is a code blue emergency. I don't even have the solace of blaming this on my mom because my sister can make scrapbooks and when she lived here I would con her into "helping" but that really meant just doing pages for G-Dawg's scrapbook. These are the best pages in G-Dawg's book. Then she moved and the pages that I did on my own practically shout at you "I suck" and then thankfully T-Dawg started helping me and those are better. But honestly I can already see the future and I'm not even clairvoyant. One day I will hand over these books, that have been such a struggle for me to make, to my two boys and they couldn't care less because they are men after all. Then they will marry perfectly normal women, who can cut in a straight line, and they will want their baby books and when they see them they will laugh out loud and ask their husbands if their mom does indeed have imposable thumbs or if I was kidnapped from the ape house at the zoo!

Onto the family update. This week G-Dawg discovered this new show on PBS called Super Why that he loves. I couldn't be happier because this show is about reading and letters and such and I think that since he can practically quote Peter Pan it was time to move onto something a bit more educational. He plans on being Peter Pan for Halloween and I'm worried since all this week he as been Super Wyatt with reading power (as seen in Super Why) that Peter Pan won't be cool by the time Halloween comes. The one good part about this whole Super Why thing is that I get to be Super Red (she looks like a edgy little red riding hood with roller skates and she has spelling power) I've never been a good speller so I'm channeling this character while I wear G-Dawg's red cape that slightly chokes me.

L-Dawg is a lover of all things paper. He is like a moth to flame burned by the fire (oh wait that's Madonna) He is drawn to it like a moth to the flame. To get paper he will do anything he has to do and then I'll find him happily chewing it to pieces. I always feel bad taking it away because he cries big tears when I do. He also discovered that I play guitar and I think he is on his road to becoming my biggest fan. So far he likes the upbeat tunes as opposed to the love ballads. It just struck me that maybe why he likes the guitar so much is because he has been munching on the my music?!


Conference weekend has been really good. The weather has been depressing so you really have no other activities to distract you from watching. I think the talks have been excellent. We had our traditional girls night at my sister's-in-law place while the men attended Priesthood. There was a bit of scene when G-Dawg and his youngest girl cousin, B-Dawg, were left alone upstairs too long. Let's just say that B-Dawg performed a small act of service for G-Dawg that involved the toilet and number 2 and her Lip Smackers. I laughed so hard I cried and to be honest I was really grossed out. They both had baths. The Lip Smacker is in the trash.